Be strong. Reach out to you new brothers and sisters who care about you.

Get away from temptation - leave the room, maybe go to sleep? (gasp of horror!)

And realize - that you are NOT too shvach. This is something you can do, and let's face it - you want to do it.

As an aside, one major reason why it'd be wrong, is that a big problem for all of us here is that before e came here, our addictions were totally a secret, and that eats away at us. We have to hide who we are. So really, any relationship that we have to do that - hide it from everyone, is a warning sign that there's something unhealthy going on.

Rage, I agree - as my posting indicates, I think I can understand missing someone for all their great qualities. But to move on, we have to move on.

I don't see that you answered my question - would you be happier if you let yourself move on - getting new passwords, etc?

And as far as looking at her picture on onlysimchas....do you think that would be a healthy move, or unhealthy?

thanx big bro. SLEEP???? NO then it gets worse. talk to somebody else, YES. ok. about hiding, ur rite....  

Oh, don't worry, TO - most of my thoughts are things that my rabbeim or therapist helped me figure out while facing my own issues (which I'm still doing, by the way) - so I'm not right because I'm smart, I've just learned from painful experience. 

I'm a bit confused - what gets worse when you sleep?

Again - in this situation, how could looking at her picture be healthy?

To put it another way, how would you feel if your wife walked into the room and saw you looking at her picture?

Does she know about your passwords?

By the way - this is somethign that's your business. If you feel I should back off - say so. You're awesome, and I know that you're growing, and you know what you need, and how to encourage your own growth far better than I do.

u mean when i try to sleep. when my head is full of sad and missing thoughts then i cant fall asleep. and in such a situation, even lying in bed for 5 mins is bad worse worst. exactly then is when ive done all/ most stupid things....

And yet, once we're asleep, we can't get into trouble at all! Plus, I know that when I'm well-rested, I'm more energetic and cheerful, and less likely to fall!

So ideally, it'd be good if you could go to sleep without having to lie in bed thinking of all the things that make you sad. Have you tried listening to music as you go to sleep - or maybe even a shiur?

You might want to try meditation, or relaxation breathing...do you have any experience with stuff like that?

nope  :-\  :-\...

What was the "nope" to?  :D :D :D

Trying to listen to music or shiurim? Or the relaxation breathing? or the not getting into trouble while we sleep - or the being energetic? 

What I mean is, what if your wife KNEW what you were looking at. How would she feel? Why?

How would you feel?

Ditto on the passwords. Would you feel funny telling her about that? If so, why?

By the way, apologies again. Diplomacy is not my strong point. 

nope to music, shiurim, relaxation breathing, yes to being more energetic and cheerful, no and yes to not getting into trouble while sleeping...
NEVER ask me about the time over here. its top secret...  

who says i live in london???  :

ok , SH is IN london. y did u pick england?

:-\ :-\ :-\ : : :

Reb Rage, leave the poor girl some anonymity!  :D :D :-\

TO - you should try listening to music - it gives you something to listen to while you're lying in bed tying to get to sleep, but it's not so involving that it'll keep you up - at least, that works for me. You just have to 1) get headphones that won't get in the way or hurt your ears, and 2) make sure your mp3 player is in a safe place so you don't knock it off your bed!

Shiurim can also work - they're a bit more involving, but you can allow yourself to drift off. And of course, there's the added benefit of listening to a shiur! I can recommend some good ones (in my opinion) if you'd like.

As far as while you're sleeping, I'm not sure what you mean - but here's something you can try: As you're relaxing to go to sleep, think positive thoughts, good thoughts, spiritual thoughts, etc. I used to do this when I had roommates, and I was terrified of what I might say in my sleep while I was dreaming! :D ;D

For relaxation exercises...I'll post that on your thread, cuz I think I'm going way off topic here!  :D :D