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war of many battles
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: war of many battles 7864 Views

Re: war of many battles 25 Jan 2009 14:11 #2304

  • battleworn
Rabeinu Guard, I have a question about filters. Is it possible to get a white list filter on a cellular connection (in Israel)?
Last Edit: by dovidfr.

Re: war of many battles 25 Jan 2009 15:52 #2315

  • the.guard
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I don't know. But they have the Kosher phones everywhere! Don't put yourself at risk.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: war of many battles 26 Jan 2009 15:59 #2393

  • battleworn
Sorry for (once again) not being clear. I meant a cellular modem for a laptop computer.
Last Edit: by Binyamin613.

Re: war of many battles 26 Jan 2009 17:20 #2402

  • ano nymous
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I assume you mean server side filtering. Because if you have a filtering software on the machine it should work just as well on a cellular connection. Obviously it would be very easy to get around this, as it always is with client based solutions.
Last Edit: by .

Re: war of many battles 26 Jan 2009 17:27 #2403

  • battleworn
That's right.
Last Edit: by naomi.

Re: war of many battles 28 Jan 2009 00:32 #2533

  • the.guard
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Why don't you call Rimon and ask them, or eNativ, or Moreshet... See the bottom of this page: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Filters/J_FilterChoices_Is.asp
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by .

Re: war of many battles 28 Jan 2009 12:13 #2557

  • battleworn
I'll try that, thank you!
Last Edit: by .

UPDATE! 26 Feb 2009 14:32 #3342

  • battleworn
I want to tell you that b'zchus this forum, I have reached a very major milestone in my life.

The intensity of the emotional pain and stress, that I've been going through lately, is way more than most people can imagine.
In the past, even a lot less would have overwhelmed me, leaving me vulnerable to the y'h and largely unproductive.

But over the last half-year with the help of this holy forum, I've become a new person. I do feel very drained, I'm physically sick (a couple of days ago I went to the kosel and cried so hard that I got sick) and I can see that vicious malicious menuval trying to attack. But somehow, B'ezras Hashem, I'm able to tell him "sorry, but the rules of the game have been changed. The store is closed, permanently, at all times and in all situations!"

THANK YOU RABEINU GUARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and thank you everyone!!!
Last Edit: by .

Re: war of many battles 08 Jul 2009 17:28 #8381

  • chl
bs"d

battleworn,

i just read through your thread (there was a link in one of the other threads), and i am speechless. thank you for sharing your story, i learnt so much from it. i feel like my mind is going to wander back to it many times for guidance and chizuk. thank you.
Last Edit: by Damay.

Re: war of many battles 09 Jul 2009 04:15 #8423

  • TrYiNg
I second that Chl. I also read it now and it amazes me how many times a person can overcome the Yh.

I just got a bit apprehensive when I read how you were clean for years and then fell again. That means I'll have to struggle like this all my life????? I don't think I could.
Last Edit: by Lev Tov.

Re: war of many battles 09 Jul 2009 11:59 #8443

  • battleworn
I just got a bit apprehensive when I read how you were clean for years and then fell again. That means I'll have to struggle like this all my life?? I don't think I could.


First of all I want to thank you and chl for your warm words. As far as your question, I was worried about that when I posted and I addressed the question a few times. I want to try now to sum up all the answers be"H

1) You write "I don't think I could." If you're right that you can't, then Hashem won't do it to you. Hashem gives us what we can handle, not what we can't.

2) We have absolutely no idea what "kochos" we have. And we have no idea what we need to accomplish in this world and all the more so we have absolutely no idea how we need to accomplish it. We have to try to have bitachon and trust Hashem. Because only He knows what we need and He always gives us exactly what we need exactly when we need it.

3) I really don't think Hashem does this to most people. [I feel that I might know one reason why I'm different but I can't share it]

4) The amount that I grew from each "nefila" is way more than I would have believed that I can grow in my whole life. I still don't wish it on anyone, but in retrospect the good that came from it outweighs the bad thousands of times over.

5) I once said that I consider myself an ex-addict and I'd like to explain. We know that an addict, even after being sober for years, can suddenly fall back to his old ways. And it doesn't take much for that to happen.
When I distanced myself from lust - bringing myself closer and closer to kedusha, I was in fact successful in changing that.

When, a little more than four years ago, Hashem decided that for my own good it's time to throw me down and shatter me in to pieces, it took so much to just get me to sin even once. I was thrown out of "Beis Hashem" in גוף נפש רוח ונשמה all at the same time. Every aspect of my life was turned totally upside down. I was left with no means of support at all, because (among other reasons) I didn't have any time for anything. My heart was shattered many times over and the way I felt can not be described at all.

But even when I did sin, it never escalated to the addiction cycle of constant acting out. It was a one time thing. There was one single time that I went to an internet place two days in a row. And even then, after those two days it was over for a few months.

I think we can learn from this that with the power of kedusha, we can in fact eradicate the addiction. Of course we can never let our guard down, but we won't need to struggle at all.

Last Edit: 09 Jul 2009 18:55 by .

Re: war of many battles 09 Jul 2009 12:44 #8445

  • Mevakesh Hashem
The struggle against the Yetzer Hara is a lifelong struggle!

If we wouldnt have to fight him, we wouldnt be on this earth anymore.

yes, Hashem will help you, but never get complacent in your fight against the Yetzer Hara, he is always looking to rear his ugly head, even months or years later.

Chazak V'Ematz!
Last Edit: by רוצה להשתחרר.

Re: war of many battles 09 Jul 2009 20:16 #8478

  • chl
bs"d

"The struggle against the Yetzer Hara is a lifelong struggle!"

That's one of the first things i learned in Yeshiva on the passuk "lapessach chatas rovetz"

TrYinG, thanks for asking the question! Battleworn, thanks for responding and explaining. My heart feels like breaking reading about your struggle and it goes out to you! Thanks for sharing.
Last Edit: by nemo tov.

Re: war of many battles 09 Jul 2009 20:55 #8482

  • battleworn
Mevakesh! It's so nice to hear from you!


The struggle against the Yetzer Hara is a lifelong struggle!

If we wouldn't have to fight him, we wouldn't be on this earth anymore.


That's 100% true! But there's still the question of what exactly you're struggling with. Rav Dessler explains that as we conquer ground our נקודת הבחירה changes. In general, as we get closer to kedusha and farther from tumah, the nature of the tests change radically. To be thrown back down in to 50 shaarei tumah is not what we normally expect to happen. That's what some people find scary about my story.
Last Edit: by Optimistic.

Re: war of many battles 09 Jul 2009 22:40 #8490

  • Mevakesh Hashem
Thank you!

I know, I really should be here more often......

Chazak V'Ematz!
Last Edit: by ymasri.
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