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This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!?
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 2556 Views

This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 21:31 #23414

  • ein yeush
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Ok, i have a problem. a big one. i feel confused and unsure of what to do...so i figure i might as well ask all of you guys what you think. who knows? maybe you''l be able to provide me with the perspective i need.

I've been following the advice on this site for a long time now
I CANT FIGHT LUST. I NEED TO LIVE FOR HASHEM AND NOT MYSELF.
cuz thats the only way i can really overcome this.

but here lies my problem. every single time i log onto this site and read the forums
or every time i sign up for the wall of honor....im naturally thinking all these impure thoughts.
i know that by trying not to think about lust i will only succeed in thinking about it...

but how do i stop? how can i just read the chizuk and focus only on the chizuk and not
fixate on the shmutz?

wow, even reading that to myself sounds messed up.
im viewing the solution as a catlyst for the problem!
and i know thats bad.

can anyone help me come up with an way to NOT think like that??

anything guys...anything you've got is better than what i've got now....

thanks!
Last Edit: by Cake2.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 21:42 #23415

  • bardichev
HEYY

SLOW DOWN

WE NNED TO KEEP IT EASY AND SIMPLE

BY BEING ON THE FORUM YOU WILL GET CHIZZUK

TO FIGHT

AND ALL WE ASK FOR IS "RESOLVE"

THATS IT

TAKE BABY STEPS
Last Edit: by Siata dishmaya.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 21:45 #23417

  • ein yeush
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maybe you're right...i dunno.
you're saying something to the effect of --ok, you cant win all the time...so now will be one of those times when you'll fall..its not mutar  and its NOT ok...but if you just beat yourself up about it...then you're definitely not going to grow....i hear u, i do

but the question remains how do i know when i'm being honest with myself or when im just giving in...

im not fighting what you're saying, im just trying to understand....
Last Edit: 14 Oct 2009 21:46 by Jojojo.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 22:00 #23420

  • bardichev
TZADIKKLE

IF YOU FOLLOW SOME OF MY POSTS

(BARDICHEVS BATTLE AND LATELY HARRYS WIFE)

YOU WILL SEE I REMOVE THE WHOLE BRAINYNESS AND PHSYKOLJEE-NESS

FROM THIS BATTLE

ITS BEEN COINED THE TEORY OF KEEP ON TRUCKING OR FELL SHMELL ETC.

WHAT I TRY TO SAY AND IT WORKS FOR ME IS 2 THINGS

NUMER UNO #1
THE YH (YETZER HORA) DOES 'NOT" AGAIN 'NOT' NEED YOUR SIN HE 'NEEDS' YOUR DEPRESSION THAT COMES ONCE YOU HAVE SINNED

AHH YOU ARE DEPRESSED YOU ARE EMPTY LIFELESS AHHH THE VAMPIRE SUCKED ALL THE 'CHIYUS' OUT OF YOU YOU ARE LOW AHH YOU ARE ANY HOW NEVER GOING TO BE PERFCET AHHH NOW HE OWNS YOU YOU ARE HIS LITTLE TOY!!

NUMERO DOS #2
THE YH NEEDS TO CONVINCE YOU THE THERE ARE 'GORMIM' TRIGGERS OR FAULTS
THAT MAKE YOU IMPERFECT BUT.. BUT.. YOPU REALLY ARE GOOD.
LIKE IF ONLY HARRYS WIFE WOULD DRESS TZNUA I WOULD BE THE NEXT REB AKIVA EIGER OHHH WHAT ABOUT YOILYS AND YANKIES WIFE?  YH  HEY YH WHHAAA
NOT FAIR!! ( YOU GET MY DRIFT )

NO ONE IS YOUR PROBLEM YES YOU SAW A PRUSATH BILLBOARD NU NU SO THAT 'MEANS"
NO  NEGEL VASSER
NO TZIZTIS
NO TFILLIN
NO TORAH

LEARN TO FUGGEDABOUTIT!!!!

MOVE ON

ROCK ON BABY!!!!

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

THE LIGHTS ARE SHINING TAPE IS ROLLING WE CANT STOP HERE

OK YOU FELL NU NU

MIKVAH SLACH LANU

KEEP ON TRUCKINNNNNN!!!!

bards
Last Edit: 14 Oct 2009 22:14 by willbevictoriusPG.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 22:06 #23424

  • the.guard
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Reb b, I think his problem is something else... He is saying that the talk on the site and forum causes him to think about it... i.e. living in the problem. That's why Dov always says, we need to live in the SOLUTION, not dwell in the problem... In Chizuk e-mail #602 we quoted Dov:

thinking about how the addiction works and making a study of it, is an entirely different matter to me. It doesn't deserve all that much attention.

You see, it all depends on what I want. If I want to keep thinking about lust, or why I lust, then I'll be in it and I tend to do more of it. If, on the other hand, I just want to finally get free of it, then I'll find someone safe to dump it to, ask My Best Eternal Friend to help me out, and then focus 100% of my brain and body energies on thinking about and doing whatever it is that I am supposed to actually thinking about and doing. And most of the time it's "giving" - to my clients, wife, children, whoever.

I am not telling you or anyone what to do, just admitting (again) that I can't think myself into right behavior. I can only live myself into right thinking. The analysis of it all is very tempting, but letting go of it and doing right does me a lot more good.



See also:
www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ4.asp
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Jason g.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 22:07 #23425

  • habib613
R' B that was by far the most inspirational post i have ever read.
you took all your posts and smushed them together.
thanks R' B!
p.s. is R' B a nickname?
can i call you that?
what if i start calling you RavB which turns to rebbe?
can i call you that?
this new rule is too confusing for me

Last Edit: by Tony97.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 22:12 #23428

  • bardichev
IVE BEEN CALLED MANY NAMES IN MY LIFE


CALL ME WHATEVER YOU WANT!!


bardichev
BARDS
MRb

YES THAT SUMS IT ALL UP

I THINK I SHOULD PRINT IT AND HAND IT OUT IN SOME SHULS

Last Edit: by willbevictoriusPG.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 22:17 #23429

  • bardichev
GUARD

I SAY THER NEEDS NO SOLUTION WHEN YOU DONT BECOME

FARKLAPPT AND FARGRIBBLED WITH THE PROBLEM

UVACHRTA BACHAIM!!!!

LIVE LIFE!!!

SMILE

DANCE

SING

MAKE JOKES IN SHUL (OF COURSE NOT DURING DAVENING)

SMASH YOUR OWN HAT

DRAW SMILEY ON YOUR KIDS HOMEWORK

TEXT YOUR WIFE KISSY SMILEYS( I HOPE IAM ALLOWED TO SAY THIS)

LIVE BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

b
Last Edit: by mendy+test90.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 22:27 #23433

  • the.guard
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Oh, I see. I guess I wasn't yored lesof da'ato of the rebbe!  :D
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by bresloveyes.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 14 Oct 2009 23:12 #23445

  • ein yeush
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Reb B 

I hear wat you're saying.
im a psych major so EVERRRYTHING i do i analyze and analyze and analyze...but i hear wat you're saying
move on. be firm and stick to your resolve and move on.
and you know what? ur right. i am feeling kinda down today. that is definitely why its harder. but ur right,

Rebbe Nachman always says that a person who sins has his Yetzer Hara make him "conveniently forget" all the good things he's done that day. i need to remind myself that im really not that bad, and with that thought, elevate myself and continue climbling from where i've left off.

i think that might be a key thought for me. guardureyes is right. my problem IS like he said and what he quoted from Dov.
but i need to keep my head in perspective and go do some hitbodedut...
oyy thank u!!!

all of u!!!!!
Last Edit: by .

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 18 Oct 2009 05:34 #24053

  • 7yipol
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I only noticed this thread now, so you've been spared my input until this moment!


wow, even reading that to myself sounds messed up.
im viewing the solution as a catlyst for the problem!
and i know thats bad


Ein Yeush, no one here will judge you negatively for even a second. Addiction has no mercy and  no bounderies and everyone here knows that.

My suggestion to you, is START POSTING. I see you have basically been a silent spectator until now. Once you become part of the action, Im pretty sure your perspective will change. You will be so busy being a part of the solution, that you wont have time to dwell in the problem iyH.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by Mshichtman.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 18 Oct 2009 20:10 #24198

  • bardichev
im a psych major

I AM ALSO A PSYCHE MAJOR
Last Edit: by jackdomlin.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 18 Oct 2009 20:48 #24202

  • kutan
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7up,
this is only coming from kutan, so don't let it get to your head, but your posts of late have been especially on the mark.
Your intuition and wisdom continue to amaze little me.
k
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by hashemlovesme17.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 19 Oct 2009 09:56 #24292

  • 7yipol
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kutan shel hachabura wrote on 18 Oct 2009 20:48:

7up,
this is only coming from kutan, so don't let it get to your head, but your posts of late have been especially on the mark.
Your intuition and wisdom continue to amaze little me.
k


"only coming from Kutan" is one big compliment to me. Mr. Kutan loves hiding behind his little red collar and looking meek and helpless, but the 'little Kutan' Ive come to know pretty well, is filled with insight, humor and real real caring.
Hashem is addicted to you! Feel His hugs!"Sheva yipol tzaddik VKUM"
Last Edit: by dmiz22.

Re: This Site makes it hard for me?!?!?!?!? 19 Oct 2009 18:47 #24441

  • kutan
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[size=20pt] :-[/size]
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by Karan.
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