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how can i tell when im in control?
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: how can i tell when im in control? 4007 Views

Re: how can i tell when im in control? 12 Sep 2008 04:14 #246

  • Mevakesh Hashem
niceguy, I like your perspective! Always accentuate the positive.
Thanks for the kind words.
May Hashem continue to give me strength...

Chazak V'Ematz!
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Re: how can i tell when im in control? 16 Oct 2008 07:55 #509

  • Avreich
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 237
  • Karma: 0
"When you are in control, you are in control. When you are not, you are not." That is the simple answer.

This is a desire which is given to us, by G-d, and I do not think that anyone would claim to understand why it has to be this way. I have seen in sforim where the author says this about himself, not knowing why that is.

However, we also have a yetzer tov. There is a constant  battle going on between them. Moreover, it gets easier over time. I am under the impression that after the first 40 days or so, it is a different type of game. I hope to prove myself correct. This is true of other middos and behaviours as well.
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Re: how can i tell when im in control? 29 Oct 2008 21:57 #647

  • nomer
It is wonderful that you are working on this now! I wish I had addressed this problem when I was younger too. I sometimes wonder what we can do to help young teens from getting addicted to masturbation in the first place? The availability of provocation/triggers gets more rampant each day with the internet, iphones, terrible billboards, the way women walk around (even very frum ones). This website is a start but there needs to be more, I think from the Rabeim & Parents. I wasn't talked to about this until I was caught 2 years after I was already addicted. I bet most don't realize it is an addiction similar to alcoholism. I didn't fully associate the two until I found this website a few days ago and I have years of misuse behind me!
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Re: how can i tell when im in control? 29 Oct 2008 22:08 #649

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 487 days
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6366
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nomer, you are so right. I just asked Rabbi Twerski if he could write us up an article about this very issue: "How do we protect our kids from this?"
I hope he finds the time to reply.
Webmaster of - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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