Hey, hey... someone who smokes 20 cigars a day... one day he wakes up and says "I want to quit",
What would u suggest?
To just stop smoking? Its impossible! requires time and patience.
Like u, I want to stop falling, and I want to leave it completly. But things arent like that. It requires working on ourselves.
Like Yaakov, step by step...
Sure it hurts, but thats recovery. To archive greatness is not easy. Success needs effort and work.
"Remember, the Yetzer Hara wants you to get DOWN about the fall, even more than he wanted you to fall. Once he gets you down, he OWNS you."
I know you have what it takes to beat this. (u know u have it) We all believe in u... Full steam ahead!