Hi brothers , i just had a fall...over and over , it seems like, this, c'v will never stop..last time i fell i remember ''swearing'' TO MYSELF THAT THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN ANYMORE..and here i am...the little monster within me came out once more, the last one was 5 days ago and this was after 110 clean days ...it looks like, if i wont CHANGE myself,i wont heal C''V..because the "me" who just fell is totally weak towards lust and could stay sober for the max of 110 days...its so true what i read in the gye handbook!!!... that, if fed... the addiction only worsens... im feeling an urge to fall again...what should i do to at least reach a short term sobriety??
Wishing all the best!!!
Tamid besimcha!!!

When you feel like lusting remind yourself (in your head) that you are not powerless, and that if you focus on some engaging activity the arousal will go down by itself. Later on think back on what actually happened to observe that it is indeed true. If you do this over and over again you will get your freedom of choice back. It takes a few weeks.

The 12-step guys here are going to tell you to "give it up to God," surrender, etc. If you do this properly you can stay sober for a while but when you fall again you will binge because you will have mistakenly taught yourself that this is God's battle, not yours. Then you will discover that a powerless person needs a support group and you may end up in SA for the rest of your life. When you surrender God doesn't help you. You just rationalize the surrender to mean that you do have desires which you do not want to accept, and when you do that the yetzer hara disappears. The desires are good, the choice to lust bad.

Dammit, I fell again. I was trying so hard and I failed. Help!!!!!

You have totally convinced yourself that this is not your doing. It is. The yetzer hara says "look at this porn, you can't resist this" and you are saying "you are right." Test it out. It's your convenient belief of powerlessness that keeps you falling.

tamidbesimcha18 wrote on 10 Oct 2012 02:34:

When you have a temptation, do you have anyone you trust to call on the phone and talk honestly and openly with about what you are tempted to do? Not to "convince you not to do it", but just to admit it to and let the big opportunity go, so you can just get back into reality (whatever it was that you were really busy doing before you got sidetracked).... That would be a great start. I have always had a list of at least 5 people i could call.

110 clean days! Wow! That is so awesome. I am jealous. It's been 19 years and I've never gotten that far. (but I just started my 90 day journey...)

Did you read that, tamidbesimcha18? he is right. 110 days is so incredibly precious. And, of course, anyone who would not trade one day (today) for 110 days is a fool, no? So if you have today, that's noch besser!!