I have just been reading some older posts. It is lag b'omer, and I have lapsed into p and m/b. Poor tactics and strategy, really dissapointed with myself because I have had enormous temptations and triggers over the past few days. This shabbat I have really grown, self discovery and awareness of reaching new levels. It took me to the point I needed to be for my goals in the weeks ahead. after shabbat (and despite my awareness of the importance and power of lag b'omer), I fell into sin. there is no point my analysing and worrying about it, I just feel shame and disgust how I can waste life. especially on such an important day in the jewish calendar.