OK I'm having a tough nisayon that I think merits posting here. I feel a REALLY strong urge to peek at something. Actually I want to go on an all out 3 hour binge. Right now. Instead of doing my homework. I'm going to try the "let go and let G-d" strategy. As in, calming down and feeling Hashem's presence and waiting it out without any heroic struggles. (I always lose those).

What I'm afraid of is what has happened a lot in the past : I fight the good fight and overcome the Y'H in a tough moment. But the Y'H doesn't care, he just waits around and attacks again a few hours later or the next day and I give in almost immediately, exhausted from the last battle.

So yeah, no heroics this time. Just simple emunah that this will pass.

sorry for the slow response time. but just look at the bigger picture, what will your current addiction do to you. And what will it develop into. ANd where do you see yourself 20 years from now.

Now look at the flipside. this perioud of your life will just be forgotten, you will be a healthy person, and not a S-- Addict. You can finnaly breath s sigh of releif, knowing that the hard part is behind you.

Thanks SA. That helps. I have been reading and posting on the forum and feeling more distance already.

Ive been falling since 1am last night...so if anyone can give me alittle wakeup call, it woulbe very much be appreciated.

If you're married, think about your wife.

If you're not married, think about your future wife discovering that you look at pornography. Realize that if you fall now you are getting closer to that scenario and if you resist, you are getting closer to having a healthy and loving relationship with her.

Maybe that helps?

Think about how I will break this to a girl I am going out with. I won't even have the avility to "play-down" the issue, since I lack even a 'clean streak'.

Hi. Anybody actually working steps here, or is GYE now just about "chizzuk till the next battle"?
Sorry for being a bit confrontational....lust is confrontational, though.
I need to change and grow, or I'm just a ticking time bomb.
Hatzlocha rabbah.

dov wrote on 03 Mar 2010 17:04:


Chizuk is a great thing.......ok fine I haven't been doing them

BTW alot of people on this forum haven't implemented the 12 step program, all they have done is simple teshuva. To list their identities would be detrimental to the entire forum, so I won't quote them

shemirateinayim wrote on 03 Mar 2010 19:57:


Those people you speak of, basically came here, saw they're not alone, read some stories, tips and posts, and never went back again. But for a guy like you, who has been on our site since it's very start, and still falling into the same rut, it might be time to admit defeat and try something really DIFFERENT, with a new humility... Just saying...

And especially a guy like you who has such a powerful soul, full of energy and wisdom.

Since my last fall, and my general life situation at the moment, I have decided I would like to start working the steps. Perhaps this is not the right place for this question, but can the steps be effective if you basically print them out and study them a little each day and think about them? Or do you need to be involved with a program, and go to meetings and have a group of people etc.? I ask because I can't practically be involved in an SA program at the moment and am wondering if I will get *anything* out of what I said above, or if it will be basically a waste of time and I should try to learn Mussar instead.

Thanks.

I PM'd you, rebbe Aryehtahor. Hope enough "engalesh" is in it to make some sense....
But for the record, haven't you been learning mussar already? If not, what praytell (that's fancy talk for "the hell") have you been doing all these years?
And no, the steps are not said to work unless you "work" them. It requires action, not reading and thinking. Even writing, which is absolutely indispensable for most folks, is not enough. Action is needed.
The concept of "kol ha'omer: 'ein li ella Torah' ("I only want to learn - not keep the mitzvos"), afilu Torah ein lo!" applies to the steps even more so.

Just for fun, here's a vertle:
A question:
Why is it that if we smear mud or whipe a shoe on our backs or faces we can still learn Torah, but if we touch a shoe with our hand we cannot? What's with the hands?!
An answer:
Hands symbolize action - asiyah - what the malochim are missing. That's why we have the Torah, not them. Hands being dirty symbolizes that they are not muchshar for asiyah - there is an inherent lack in our ability to implement Hashem's Will.
And one who is not in a state to put the Torah into action is posul for learning because it is as though they are saying "I'll just learn it". And apparently, that's not what Torah was made for. Our hands have to be OK, even though our asiyah will not be perfect. They need to be ready for Hashem to work through them.
Hatzlocha!

Just for the record, Mussar is also not enough to "just read" or "learn". If you dont put into action, you really havent done anything except read it. Lets not be so quick to put away the mussar and Torah, but the 12 steps can be usefull nonetheless.

Love ya Dov,

-Yiddle

I agree fully with Dov, but I still think there's some merit in reading the 12-Ste material if there's no chance of doing anything more at this point, as per the advice of the handbook. I would read the Big-Book and the White-Book of SA. Then the 12 & 12. First of all, you'll find there a lot of good perspective, which can help you if you aren't "too far gone". And second, if/when you are ready to join a group, you'll be familiar with the concepts.

You can find the 12-Step literature on the second half of this page: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/12Steps/12Steps.asp

GUARD ?  Since when don't you agree with DOV????


I started the 12 steps (1-4), although I need to remind myself of the first 3 steps by every nissayon. Im an addict, "ain od milvado" "kol demam dakka" "Alef Dalid Yud Nun" , and "tatte....save me!!!!!!!!"


I can already record the 'infomercial' for the program!  I started, and saw INSTANT resulots. My Y"H was keeped under check, and I haven't fallen since (they always exhadurate alittle)



Can we use this thread for it's intended prupose??????    "sos I'm paying the zona as I type this!!" 

Hey Shmirat Eynaim....

Wahts going on..?

Talk...