SE,
thanks for all that "randomness"!
it's really great to read some Torah.
may we all be zoche to note when we're covered in ashes
and let the or hatorah burn right through!

SOS

ok honestly now, my YH is pulling realy hard. he wants me to watch TV. a movie something!!
He's telling me how relaxing it will be, and interesting (guns always interested me), even exiting (actresses...). My only argument to counter him is that I need to actualise on all my posts which discuss my "ratzon, i want to change...bla bla bla".      As you can see he has a better argument than me.  I do kow tat this will make such a distance between me and heshem, and i hate that feeling, but on the other hand the thrill of watching TV, and the adrenaline rush I have as I write this post seems to outweigh that guilt. 

I have a whole day by myself here, I can do whatever I want, and no-one will question me. If I try going to sleep (something I get very little of nowadays) I will be misyacheid with the laptop. I am pretty sure I couldn't last through that nissayon...I am getting exited about it even as I type this!!

The last nissaayon I was bailed out by a heavenly shliach, after 5 important phone calls didn't do the job.  It's sort-of like Hashem trying to give me a hint..."hello down there, keep trucking, just alittle longer, I just wana see how long you can hold on"  But when I am ready to fall he sends a distraction, "cmon I said to hand in there, now pick your head up and keep fighting".    ANd when all the distractions don't work, he sends torah itself  (Megalgelin zchus Al Yidai zakai).

As you can see, I am trying to root myself tot he spot here, so I don't walk off to TV 10 feet away, or the Laptop waiting for me by my bed, like a zonah "omeid al hadrachim".  Sadly, Yehuda had no Bechira in that one, but I do have bechira here!
HEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!  SOS  ___  ___  ___    _ _ _  ___  ___  ___

SE,

Where are you now that you're all by yourself?  Can you change your location?

Hey SE if you need some immediate attention feel free to gchat me at Yiddle2@gmail.com or just email me.

Saved by our beloved _____ . I don't know i he wants me to mention his username.


I am writing 2 vorts for todays email.  One on tehillim 22, and the other a chiddush I had from a pachadge of 'Chips Ahoy--Chewy'.  Personaly I like the 'Chunky' better, with a glass of milk, but I needed a change.

DIE Y"H.  I spit in your face, you slobbering DOG.      I wouldnt' want to have been a mechaleil shabbos 60 years ago, when that was their nissayon, and I don't want to be part of OLAM HAZNUS in this dor's nissayon.      Being a recovering addict, guves me an even better standpoint in this. For bemakom sheba'alei teshuva omdim, ain tzadikim gemurim omdim.        Would anyone else have a 24hour mental drive that pulls him to sit in-front of the TV???

Few! Good to hear SE. Lets make something outta this and build off of it. Take the moment to realzie what Hashem did for you!

-Yiddle

Writing a fvar torah from tehillim 22,    hope to make it into the chizuk email for today....but there is always purim itself

shemirateinayim wrote on 25 Feb 2010 17:39:


Emmmm.....there was a great man of our chazal who said "an arrow in the eye of the YH"....he got busted, apparently. Then Hashem let it out that even a few of our greatest tanna'im could be made into clowns and hoist-off after lust if Hashem willed it to be so. Of course that's not the name of the game, so He generally doesn't do that...and I don't mean to imply that one should respect the YH, per se', SE (SE'?).  But how about focusing on loving Hashem and trusting He has a reason for all this hester r"l and will take care of us if we attach ourselves to Him, rather than to our pain and struggles? It's not about us, you know...it's all and only about the hidden King!

The kavana in that may have been since they utilized a mitza of such power that it CAN overcome the YH. (lulav). In performance of that great mitvza they where truly misyacheid their einayim, leiv, guf (shedra=skelital structure), and lips.....to be a unified whole, controlled by their choice of action (Vehayu Leachadim beyadi...yadayim=doing.    Yishmael=veyado bakol veyad kol bo     yad H')

It would be surprised to hear that absolute gibberish typed on a keyboard, would be a reason for him to be toreiach to make me fall (see rashi there in sukah). ANyway I will be back on here with another SOS soon , sadly.

we love you yideleh!

I am new to the guard your eyes website in general and especially how these forums/threads work so i have a question about I'm about to FALL!!
all i need to do is make a reply to the last message and tell someone if i feel like i am going to have a fall and they will walk me through so i don't fall?
please reply and have a great purim!

well, except for purim (shushan purim for the EY chevra), you can generally get some chizuk realy fast. alot of times we simply need someone to connact and shmuz with (Gchat). Sometimes we need chizuk. sometimes we need someone to help us pass the time (untill the YH passes).   

This thread is just a easily visible place to post a call for help.  since it's at the top of the most veiwed thread! However it has lately fallen into diss-use. So give it some time to get back to full effeciency.

SE, the only way to get it out of its "diss-use" is by using it. So Chazak Amenu, USE it if you need it. That goes for everyone on the forum. This is an important thread and can be a great tool for recovery if used wisely and appropriately.

-Yiddle

Yes, it's an important tool - but only as long as it's like ringing an alarm! So please, the only time this thread should be used is by someone who's about to fall, or someone directly helping them. Otherwise, after the first 20 or 30 false alarms, people stop reacting as quickly (I don't think that's just me).

I've resisted posting again about this because I don't want to be hypocritical, but it needs to be said...

PLEASE!

Emess. Sorry for being oiver. You are on target, leiutenant SB!