if you are going to respond,
please dont respond here,
do so on my thread,
otherwise things get too confusing for me.
im thinking too much,
i should prob get up and do something,
but the biggest pull is to go sit on my parents' unfiltered computer,
maybe ill just click on whos online until someone shows up,
whether that takes a whole day or not,
or i just get too fed up and go away

Anybody home?

I'm here. Momo in the house!
Whassup?

Was going to loose. I'm fine now. I checked out Guard's turn off page for the first time. Problem solved - temporarily. Regained some sanity, at least

I got triggered by some next door neighbor - I didn't even seek out anything. She burned her arm with a pan and her husband wasn't - and she banged desperately on our door screaming in pain. I took care of it as best as I could, with cold water and silverdine and calmed, found her husband and sent them off to miun.

I feel like such a pervert. I got triggered by THAT. and it's unfair. What I was suppose to do? "Sorry, I'm struggling with lust addiction, do you think you could scream and knock next door?"

Wow. You are a tzadik.
HaShem only sends tests we can handle. So, even though you fumbled the ball after doing the chessed, you posted for help, found the turn off page, and recovered.
Now, try to forget about her and move on to something else in your day. Continue going to the end zone!

Yeah. I suppose. I probably. I hope I won't be back here for the "thank you so much" knock on the door :/

:D :D
youre doing great kanesher

Yasher koach Kanesher, and chag sameach.

Youre getting triggered by it because theres no way the yh is going to  let this mitzvah go by without trying really hard to mess it up for you. Too much  zchar involved you see, davka because youre and addict! He's a low down &%@^ who we give you permission to use for target practice! :D

Kanesher, you passed this test with flying colors and did exactly what Hashem wants you to do.
1) Help her the best you can, at the risk of your own sanity
2) get triggered
3) post for help
4) do all you can to regain some sanity

As Dov would say, "to hell with me, what can I do for you?"
You just showed you'd be willing to risk gehenom to help another Jew!!
Ashrecha.

Its like the story of the guy who saved a womans life who was drowning and the other guy after an a hour asked how hw touched her ...etc you carried the girl for an hour....
WHat a crazy world for an addict to live in !
I shouldnt talk though I just fell again...

That's the bothersome part - poor girl needed help and I was the only one who possibly could (I wouldn't go looking for "girls to help" - that would make me a sicko predator), and had there been anyone else there I would have begged off, and Halachically speaking Avirayu D'Arayos are Yeharog V'Al Ya'avor - but R' Moshe permits doing essential work even if one is afraid he will have negative intentions because the work is intrincally non-chibah work. -  but anyway, it's just so frustrating that I can't escape, and I feel like a total jerk - imagine what she would think in she knew - I turn to you when I need help -  and you just look at me like a piece of meat? And she's a serious tzanuah. So it's just frustrating on all fronts - that I had to bite my tongue (so to speak to whole) and couldn't deal with her respectably even when she sobbing from pain.

Her husband called me since then and thanked me. She had a 2nd degree burn. I wonder if I should have just called an ambulance. Anyway, l'maaseh, I didn't fall, and another day I hope to able to help someone (though not look to help; for me to become some girls halacha teacher would be spiritual suicide) respectfully.

Jerk.

JERK is right.

Jewish Eyes Raised Kanesher

Kal Kanesher, the Mefarshim say that means to lift up your eyes easily from seeing bad...

Dear Kanesher,

What you did was 100% appropriate.  There was no issue of Histaklus or Negiah, because both were medically necessary.  The only issue was Hirhurim - and I am certain that you were an Onus on that.  So, please don't let it bother you for another minute.

A Gutten Moed!

Just reminded me of an old story about Dr Wallach who used to place his big yarmuka over his eyes whenever he was called upon to treat a female patient. When  R Shmuel Salant the rov of Jerusalem heard about this practice, he told him that he must stop it, for it may interfere with giving  proper medical care.

He also said to him that if the Dr does his work for the sake of Heaven the he Rav shmuel Salant guarantees him that the YH will never overcome him and no "thoughts" will befall him.

I dare say its a pretty safe bet that the great tzadiks guarantee to Dr Wallach applies to kanesher as well.

Mgalgalin zchus al ydei zaakai


Noora