On The Road wrote on 23 Sep 2009 02:15:
True intimacy I have found takes work, and is at times a little scary. Rarely as intense as what one might imagine. But its stable wamr amd predictable.
Sorry that I go back to a previous subject, but I believe it is very relevant.
R' Chaim Wosner writes in his sefer Reai Chaim about this problem, although he does not elaborate too much. His point is basically "stop staring at the girl in the bank and you will see how your interest in your wife will come back".
One of the main problems which we face is the build up of hormones which drive us crazy sometimes, and once married you have a legal outlet, but you should keep your attention focused on THIS subject.