bardichev wrote on 17 Sep 2009 21:24:
:D :D :D ha! that was funny ! i'm going to doven

[/quote]

Dear Lamed,

Ok, here goes: Hand me your glasses this minute, so you won't get a good view of anything improper! 
[/quote] I'm not seeing anything improper !! that's what's driving me crazy!! i am doing this for nothing!! i know this sounds horrible but if was lusting and getting somewhere that's one thing , but he's just making me hit my head against a brick wall for nothing!!!
i blocked myself so well, i'm scraping the walls having lust attacks and getting nowhere!!! this is insanity!! 

I thought you went to daven?

Me3 wrote on 17 Sep 2009 21:52:

OK NOW i'm going . 

Dear Lamed,

Please don't think about elephants.  You can think about anything else, but not about elephants.

Notice how, all of a sudden, I got you to think about elephants!

As we all know, it's a waste of time to try NOT to think about anything.  Instead, try gently to get your mind involved with something else.

Dear #36 -
First of all, please be moichel me for liking you so much. I'm really sorry but I can't help myself.  ;D
Please consider: Where the heck did you get the idea that NOT doing stupid stuff like lusting, playing with the filter, or whatever, would immediately lead to to happiness? If you want to laugh at yourself, laugh about that.
If you are mekabel that you were not only lusting out of habit, but also to comfort yourself, then it's poshut that when the acting out and other nahrishkeiten are removed from the equation you will go a little bonkers. We all do, temporarily. After that, it is your choice: to ride the storm holding our hands while you find peace (I use the steps 4 that), or go to back out there and comfort yourself some more with the sweet poison. Oh yeah, or you can just keep kvetching about it. I certainly did my share. But these guys don't seem to have much room for pity...tough bunch....
Whatever you (and we) are hurting or annoyed about or scared of is still going to need facing. We need peace, not more painful adventure. We can either face it now while aching a bit in sobriety and really attain the peace we deserve, or we can medicate again, to deal with it perhaps in the next gigul, or - if/when the medicating finally stops working - in this one. Nu. At least in this one you have our hands to hold and laugh with the berdichever! It seems that Someone is looking out for you and is giving you the help you need in this trip! Make a lechayim for a sweet new year together with some flaky people who really understand you, for a change.

I'm sort of feeling the way that was just spoken about I'm having a roller coaster time where I have to deal with huge success's in my life of osek betzarchei tzibur as well as huge challenges and set backs, This all compounded with my newfound self esteem where I don't let people walk over me.
So I go off to medicate in order to feel good sort of my little comfort place that makes me want to throw myself up and out the window of my fifth story apartment.....
I any case if anyone out there is listening I'm trying to get back on track, I would like to get back to the steps..
And I'd like to speak to someone about all this thanks for listening

Dear Nat,

How about printing copies of the two GUE Handbooks, and getting off the computer and reading them?  If you've already read the handbooks, it is still important to review them.

i personally keep a copy in my drawer and know lots of it by heart
but that might be a little gye addiction!
seriously, print it! it'll help!

I do have them and I do refer to them I just feel that I must break through my barrier of actually speaking to another human being personally and eventually face to face.
Since that is a very real thing for me like the addiction is creating fake worlds and feelings for me .
I know that its not real but its an escape from feeling the real world and talking about my feelings does help ground me more than reading about dealing with my issues does although it does help.

have you ever joined an SA group, tzadik? Sounds like that would be just what you're looking for...

I feel like I'm gonna lose it. HELP!

I'm here tzadik - what's bugging u? Talk to Noorah. I'm a good listner - (so says my wife )

Hi! I'm just losing it; up to ten days - 2 falls in the 40 days - and it's just driving me crazy.
Too many triggers - too much sheer lachatz - and it's aseres yemey teshuvah - dah!

It's almost an intellectual question with a sort of burn to it - why should I give this up? I don't have another escape .... isn't this all suppose to be tov, as well? I guess - I am struggling in my own marriage with my deep and complex wife - and I guess when I look in the street I wonder - why didn't I marry a ___________ ___________ ditz who has no sense of tzinius?

DAH! Why not objectify? What am I struggling for? It's pleasurable, isn't it? What do I need this for? !