I hope I do not fall -- recently I did listen to female singers and did read inappropriate news (from main news sites CNN, ABC, but still).

I do stupid things too sometimes. We all do.

So?

What happened?

Why do people post things like that and not follow up?

Fortunately I keep up without falling.

At age 37 I still depend on my parents. My table which once contained inappropriate magazines now contains licorice tablets to lower my sexual drive.

Turning a mess into order is fantastic good job

It's a beautiful thing!

Hi Boys, just want to check in before Shabbos. I started this week my clean streak after a few fell during last weekend.
Today Im feeling very triggered, and started getting very aroused for no reason.
Eventough I feel strong, deep down I know that sooner or later is gonna happen.

The Good New is that im porn free for a month and feeling great, just need my release.

Good Shabbos everyone!

Um, "your release"?

Release of what?

Please don't tell me you buy into the strange idea that sperm gathers in a man until it must burst out, or some such thing. It's nonsense.

And if by "release" you mean some sort of involuntary porn use that slakes your inner need for schmutz...then...then...aw, I dunno. Then for get it.

And if you mean something completely different than either of those goofy ideas, please clarify if you like.

And if you yourself are not really sure what you meant by it, then I am certain it is a very important thing to journal about (on paper) in order to finally gain clarity on such a major issue...cuz it is.

And have a great week, Mike!

I have been clean since Oct 1, but I am not sure how long can I keep up -- my urge is stronger then expected.

I am also dealing with many other issues -- I have moderately severe depression, I have very little contact with the outside world, and I have PTSD and hopelessness. I have not seen my therapist since Summer '13.

Get help, then.

Things are not hopeless, for you certainly do not need to masturbate yourself. You have been clean for a long time, so you see that is true.

You probably need to see your therapist - isn't taking good care of yourself important? Maybe you can resume sessions with him on the phone. Maybe you can reach out to others who can help you on the phone for free, if the money is the issue.

Hatzlocha.

I am 100% dependent on my parents -- thus I will be able to see my therapist only when they can drive me 70 miles to him. Where else can I get help?

I understand that m. is a very severe sin, but I have been acting out between February 1994, and September 2013. Since '06 I have been acting out twice a week. It did not seem to have severe adverse consequences in this life.

Maybe I do not have sufficient motivation. I was clean May 1992 -- Feb 4 1994. I was much younger with much stronger drive, but I did stay away from m.

Yesterday I had a very stressful and depressing day for other reasons. During the night I had a dream with all the stuff from the past, and as I woke up I began to miss my past acting out.

I hope I can keep sexual sobriety.

You gotta forgot about the dream it means nothing. Remember just one day at a time. Don't think about "keeping sexual sobriety." All that matters is today.

For me acting out doesn't help me. It doesn't help me get things done, it doesn't even make me happy. In fact it ruins me. Its an escape from life. The pure realization that it doesn't help me is key for me. Also that i can choose what to do. I don't have to fall.

Hi R76!

I have been with therapy for 9 months... Kept 7 months sober until recent stupid accident.

Anyways, try Gestalt therapy for addiction, it saved my life.

I had all types of crazy depression and ADD diagnoses, but now i cant believe it was all an illusion.

My life is much better, BH!

It takes work and patience, but in the end, its worth it!

contact me if you need any tips / help.

cheers bro

joe

Motzei Shabbos is a big trigger time for me. I'm hoping posting will help me keep from acting out.

Reading the forums it does see like Motzei Shabbos / the first 24 hours after Shabbos are harder for many. Perhaps it is not just how one spends Motzei Shabbos but also that we have a hard time transitioning from explicit holiness, where we just feel the spiritual connection of Shabbos, to "normal life" where we need to work to add the holiness. Whatever the reason, you are not alone in this phenomena. Hope you are staying strong.