ontheedgeman wrote on 24 May 2011 19:10:


There's the 8:30am, 12:00pm, and 10:20 pm groups (I haven't tried the other groups, but I'm sure they're just as good). If you miss one, jump on the other. You've likely never met a more accepting bunch of guys who understand what you've been through, see you as the sincere pure soul that you really are, and who are committed to helping each other find THE solution to this plagueing issue. I imagine you've had enough of it by now, as I certainly have. With H's help I've been sober for over 1/2 a year - thanks to the principles I've learned on these calls. Looking forward!

2 phone ins so far (8:30). it's great!  Thanks!

hi
i'm new to this sight, i signed up for the 90 day chart, its a war zone in new york city right now!! the weather changed so fast the 3 minute walk from the train station to my office is extreme torture
can anyone swap names with me to pray for each other

Why don't you stay home from work and pray for your Parnassa instead? If you think you arent holding on that level yet, then why don't you try some more concrete methods then praying as well?

A new life- welcome.

Why dont you introduce yourself in the introduce yourself section so we can all officially welcome you? Then i am sure some well experience chevra can see your questions.

Just a suggestion. Start posting my friend there is so much to learn from this chevra.

Your in the right place.

--hm

A New Life welcome, not sure if your here just for assistance in helping you with watching your eyes in conducting your daily activities or whether you have more serious issues.  If its the former then you can get some help by reading windows of the soul (www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/Windows%20of%20the%20Soul.pdf) if its the latter than you may want to check out the GYE in a nutshell (www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/Newsletter01/GYE%20in%20a%20Nutshell%202011.pdf).  If it is the latter you may want to start your own thread in the introduce yourself section.  Hatzlacha

Me3 wrote on 26 May 2011 18:49:

Youch! Take it easy on the newbie.


...look who's talking...never mind.

Need some chizuk here. This is my 4th day clean so far. For some reason i am weak today. I havent slipped yet but have a tremendous urge to (sry for getting graphic but its not an urge to watch but to waste). If anyone can give me some tips/chizuk it would be so helpful!! Thanks in advance!

Lo Sasuru wrote on 02 Jun 2011 18:49:


The best quick advice I can give is to quickly switch into giving mode, don't even think twice, and be of service to others. Ask someone what you can do to help, call up your parents and see how life is going for them -- anything of service to others!

Tell me how it goes

Thanks I'll give it a try

Fell... i should have come here first.... arrrg

i looked yesterday and held back from HZ, did it again today..... the voice in my mind told me not to and i could have not done it, I let myself and am so disappointed.

time to get back on wagon and start again.

everytime i let this happen.. i just wait for G-d to bring a punishment that I really think i deserve... like for all the deals i'm working on to fall through, and I KNOW i deserve it. not healthy... not self-caring

sorry to hear that you keep carrying the full burden of your acting out.  This of course is exactly what you Y'H loves.  He gets you to take "responsibility".  You feel horrible for doing such a terrible thing and then to soothe your distraught feelings he then tells you to go ahead and masturbate again to make you feel better.

Nice trick.

I found the concept of "surrender" to work wonders on this.

"I surrender.  I am completely powerless over lust.  In its grip I am capable of doing almost anything regardless of how disgusting it would make me feel to do it.  God please you take it from me because I can not do it myself."

Works wonders.  For over 20 years I could not get success trying to do it myself.  Once I admitted defeat and let Him do it for me change started to happen.

Oh and about the deserving punishment from God.....I  heard a great line.  "We are not bad people trying to become good.  We are sick people trying to get better."

Hatzlacha

okay so just the other day i realized that even tho i throw out the password to my k9 account i can still access a new password and unlock it. and guess wat, tho throughout the day i controlled myself, went to shiurim. learned torah, i still fell into the trap at night when the yetzer hara is the strongest. now i spoke to the filter gabai and he told me wat to do cept it still didnt change the email to the filter gabai's
so i was a wreck after i slipped and now i feel weak and the yetzer hara will get me. so im screaming out here for chizuk, help, and anything else that will make my worry go away and the yetzer hara from making sniggered remarks about how all doors are open.

i would like to add that i have used this filter for a very long time to if anything stop me from accessing filth on my own computer and it worked. and it started even filtering my macheshavot in some way (i presume since i felt like i was making progress and hence i wanted to move forward w it).

Danagar, Wonderful to hear from you. You sound very sincere and remind me of how I felt when I went through pretty much the same experience. I really thought when I installed my filter it solved my problems forever. I felt I had a new lease on life - empowered! I could finally get this nasty secret behind me and start living. What I didn't know was that filters do not solve the problem for people like me. If the temptation is strong enough it will find a way around any filter -- ANY filter, even monitoring software. As many will testify on this forum, their temptations found every hole in the software, and although it may have been difficult to get their "fix" of Pritzus, they got it in the end and the filters and monitoring software became a joke.

If this is the experience you've been through or can imagine going through, then you might be dealing with an addiction. This was my experience, and although Hashem in His tremendous compassion saved me from falling into severe addiction I am SO grateful that He helped me discover that I can't beat this without His help. Once I realized that and turned it over to Him I was plugged into the Infinite and I was able to see His wonders. B"H it's been 216 Days since I came to this realization, and I've never seen such success in my life and I owe it ALL to HKB"H.

If you're tired of this viscious cycle there's a way out --- if you really want it. If this sounds like something you want I'd be happy to tell you more.