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I'm about to FALL!!

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TOPIC: I'm about to FALL!! 214445 Views

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 06:27 #95176

im not alone	i think you are right i'll take a break from this... thanks good night see you tomorrow
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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 07:14 #95180

ben durdayah
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im not alone wrote on 01 Feb 2011 06:14:

I've taken several steps so it shouldn't happen again (NEVER)
I blocked (through k9) the entire internet after 10:00 (its 1 o'clock now?. but goes into affect in 10 minutes)
i'm really depressed
i know i shouldn't be, but i;m still literary depressed

I KNOW THE NEXT FEW DAYS IS GOING TO BE HARD
because i'm extremely down, also because this p..n stuff are still fresh and flashing in my mind,

despite all that. i'm committed to clime out from this mess, i just hope i'm not fooling myself

I'm mammesh in the same boat with you!

Together we'll weather out the storm.

I also took similar measures to cut down my web access and stop up any holes on my k-9.

We'll get through this together with Hashem's help.

E

For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee

Last Edit: 01 Feb 2011 07:18 by .

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 13:07 #95190

yesod tzadik
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A gitten Reb I am not alone

I have on my office computer - in addition to filternet and webchaver - timed internet access. from 9am to 6pm. after that ge'endigt, finished. (My friend has got the password)

It helped tremendously. I am always home on time to help my wife with the kids. My older kids also love it.
And I feel accomplished after spending 2-3 hours at home and catch up with all their stories from school.

I also blocked almost all major news sites that have got videos, and of course you tube.

But don’t forget that filters are just a prevention not a cure, we still have to follow some program to help us out of the addiction (12 steps etc.)

Hatzlucha

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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 13:25 #95193

Chaim18	Thanks all. Reb Yid, I just added one I heard on "Why was Yosef's big test Aishes Potifar?" to your parsha thread.
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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 17:50 #95265

Reb Yid OFFLINE Gold Boarder TKO the YH Posts: 274 Karma: 10	Got it. Beautiful!! Added my own shtickle over there as well. Thanks for the input. It really helps keep me focused. And don't ever give up on yourself!! If you can inspire the way you have, you have it in you to be very special. Keep working towards that end - one day at a time!!
	I am special I was chosen for this special mission. I must succeed. Klal Yisroel needs me. Hashem needs me. Chizuk From the Parsha www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3456.0 Letter From YH www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3445.0;attach=1631 Last Edit: by .

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 19:36 #95295

im not alone

i failed again, and fell
(still had that piece of paper written up my k9 password)

but thats it. hashem please believe me now i'm even more serious, this was the last time i had access to p..n , "thats a fact"

yes i know thats not enough so i made more precautions

just a formal announcement "im not alone" is not going to mas... anymore, period

_{i know i sound corny, but i'm really sincere}

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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 19:39 #95297

Maccabee OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Karma: 0	KOT KOT KOT KOT
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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 19:41 #95299

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	make a little bonfire burn that paper set the email address to the filter gabai's address then ask Hashem for help in staying out of trouble maybe consider the Taphsic method keep on trucking
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 01 Feb 2011 20:53 #95321

ben durdayah
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im not alone wrote on 01 Feb 2011 19:36:

I'm with you -I was just in this situation yesterday - you really aren't alone.

I got rid of the K-9 password -Baruch Shemasar Olamo Leshomrim.

Just pick yourself up and we'll keep on truckin'.

With Hashem's help, we won't let the YH have the last laugh.

KOT!

E

For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee

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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Feb 2011 02:29 #95354

Dov
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im not alone wrote on 01 Feb 2011 19:36:

Have you ever said this before?

Just curious.

If you have been this way before, I'm here to suggest that there is another option to this very devoted and very sincere snow job we keep giving ourselves. If you end up having to promise the above yet again, c"v, ask me (or any other addict in recovery) about sharing it with you and we will try to do just that.

But in the meantime, Hatzlocha!!

"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Feb 2011 19:41 #95471

im not alone

BH the hardest part is over, i've been clean for 24 hours now, i didnt even think of shmuts (well, almost)

let me explain myself
I have k9 on my pc already for a few months, i didnt knew the password, and i use the filter gabais email, but i still "had" the password written down and placed it far from home somewhere, so in case i had to adjust the filter options i would go down there to pick up my password and adjust it and then take it back there, "thats what i thought" but i guess my YH had other plans so after months of not viewing any major inappropriate stuff (tried here and there, but never got to the real garbage) although i mas.. sevarel times in the last few months, it was much much much less then i had before, and the fall itself wasnt so hard hit as before (still obviously extremely bad),
but all that almost ended when i passed the place where i kept my password and... i just took it. from there it was one harsh nightmare... i dont wanna repeat

but BH i'm up and running again

dov:
yes i had said that before, but this time i DID something too
im not alone wrote on 01 Feb 2011 06:14:

I've taken several steps so it shouldn't happen again (NEVER)
I blocked (through k9) the entire internet after 10:00 (its 1 o'clock now?. but goes into affect in 10 minutes)
manually selected to block a few so called CLEAN SITES that use to trigger me if i really wanted...
made a commitment that i wouldn't watch any movies "via online", ZILCH, ZERO, NOTTO, NOTHING, NOPE, KELUM (even rated E)
..........., so i erased my code, if anything i'll ask Mr. gabei to adjust it

all you guys,
you will never know what you mean for me,
thanks so much

Last Edit: 02 Feb 2011 19:47 by .

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Feb 2011 19:59 #95473

Rising Up Current streak: 122 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 395 Karma: 0	im not alone wrote on 02 Feb 2011 19:41: all you guys, you will never know what you mean for me, thanks so much You're wrong I will know what I mean to you the day that you mean just as much to me.
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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Feb 2011 20:49 #95488

ZemirosShabbos OFFLINE Platinum Boarder pass the compote Posts: 6153 Karma: 72	im not alone wrote on 02 Feb 2011 19:41: yes i had said that before, but this time i DID something too gevaldig! that's what counts talking the talk and walking the walk
	Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise ~Inna beshem ZS Give, Forgive ~Cordnoy The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting. ~TZ Last Edit: by .

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Feb 2011 21:53 #95515

Dov OFFLINE Administrator Posts: 1960 Karma: 383	We are walking together be"H.
	"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same." Last Edit: by .

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 04 Feb 2011 02:59 #95738

im not alone

thats it the first 48 hours are in the can.
i cant believe it i'm still clean after my own tsunami

thank you hashem for giving me the strenth to keep going

risingup
exactly this is what i ment, you (and so much others here) mean so much, actually you pushed me into bed RisingUp wrote on 01 Feb 2011 06:23:

In a few minutes you could go to sleep. Wake up tomorrow and realize that its a new day. Start the day doing something that you really love to do, no matter what it is. Maybe go out to breakfast. Then tomorrow night log back on and continue to discuss what needs to get done. But for now, take a 24 hour break from this forum and everything else and treat yourself. You'll see. When you come back tomorrow night you'll be all invigorated and ready to take on the issues at hand.

im not kidding after that dark night, i didnt know what to do next, i just wrote instead of crying, b ut i didnt expect anyone responding with any ideas
but after your reply i just went to sleep (i'll admit i cried in bed, so would you if you would know what i went through)

what could i say................ thank you
its 10:00 o'clock over

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