If she doesn't, it might be a case of pikuach nefoshos!  :o :

My wife had no problem buying the sneakers online; she was just giving me a choice.  To me it was a no brainer.

Reb heiliger, sounds from ur post that ur wife ain't aware of our addiction, in that case u give me much chizak that even w/o the support of a wife u were still able to grow so much
Unless I assumed wrong

My wife knows about it.  I told her when I was 4 months clean (now up to 518 days, b'Ezras Hashem).

Thanks Kedusha, for the clarification, that makes sense how u r able to make such progress b"h
Guess wife is having too much confidence already in u
I'll share with u what Wife of Rabbi Twerski said to me "bshem him" that we gota consider ourselves "addicts in recovery" for at least as long as we were actual addicts

aye mr jip. Why do you think wife knowing makes it easier?

im sitting at the computer at work and feeling week, i keep typing stuff in and closing the browser... hopefully disclosing that has helped me surrender and enabled me to get back to work!

Lets together say a kapital tehilim and then ask hashems help. Thanks for sharing.

Finished davening for us. Hatzlacha

thank you hatslocho to you too!

an honest mouse wrote on 20 Oct 2010 10:54:


I am having the same problem right now!! I closed the browser and did not get to see anything... is this considered a SLIP or a FALL for the 90 day chart? I have been clean for an entire week, but just had a very ugly fight with my wife. Fortuunately, i understood this to be a test just in time! But I was just wondering if I have to reset my count because of ACTIVE looking for trouble (typing and searching on unprotected computer).

Thanks!

according to the rules, that would only be considered a slip, check out the rules on the 90 day chart page and kol hakavod fo realising the test beforehand! thats the trick, keep up the good work!

FTS, sorry for my delayed answer
Having ur wife know of ur struggle can make it easier by her being more available to u in time of need, or just for support, and they can admire ur effort in trying to avoid all the triggers out there which they also know about but never thought it applies to their holy husband, but with the proper guidance a wife can understand that man are from mars & women are from venus, and men get aroused very quick & its a constant struggle for a man to keep his eyes & thoughts holy as a yid is suppose to
Me too used to put up a face in the past that nah, all these women on the street all dressed up much nicer than my wife don't mean me & I'm above that, but I finally figured out that this is just increasing the tension & decided to let her know slowly that yes, I am no big tzadik & I get triggered & guess what she made a big change in her appearance for me & u know what, it does help, I'm not gana say that she can measure up to those pretty women, but I also know that don't measure up to other qualities she has & they probably don't & I know that she does the best she can do with herself & that makes me feel good & I am trying on my end to do the best I can on me end, believe me guys living in denial is not gana help us & neither will it help our beloved wives, life is a challenge we only live once & we have to pass the test, thank u guys for listening to JIP

Most women are aware of mens weaknesses. This has nothing to do with porn or making watching into a pastime. This is something incredibly  ugly to them. If their husband would spend hours staring at wifes body i think they would be sickened.

I would be very sad if you fell.

Stay calm and focused on something meaningful.