try to distract yourself, go for a walk, call a friend, read a good book.
remember how bad it felt after a fall, the feeling of worthlessness, futility and shame.
keep posting. try giving someone chizuk and your will see the chizuk boomerang back to you.

Take a cold shower. Go for run. Call an old friend. Chat with someone from GYE.


Don't do it you will regret it!

desperate_teddybear wrote on 04 Oct 2010 20:56:
Of course you are thinking "just do it". So do I. I always thought that. I just hope you keep reaching out, and that if you go with what you feel you need, that you keep reaching out and come back. Eventually, if you really need recovery, you"ll reach for it and get it.

Love,

Dov

(I really love suffering, even failing, addicts, because they are more like me than anybody else i know)

dov wrote on 05 Oct 2010 03:27:

Unbelievable, and here I was thinking that I am the only one who acts out "just to get over" the agonising.

Hatzlocho DTB.

i fell. and regret it.
by the time i read all suggestions it was too late but thank you so much everyone for your love and encouragement and tipsys
it's like the suspense of 'i know i'm going to fall one of these days' ended up killing it.

i think i'll try a cold shower next time. definately wasn't worth it (it never is worth it is it?just feels like it at the time)

A word of caution:

The 'cold shower' solution depends on how far down the slope you are already up to. At times, it has been the catalyst for pushing me over the edge....  :-[

Dear DTB,

It might be helpful (to yourself and to others) to analyze what went wrong this time, with the goal that this type of situation should not cause you (or others) to fall again.  Without getting graphic, was it something you saw or something you thought that brought on the sudden urge?  If the former, at what point, if at all, did you take a second look?

Please don't let this fall be in vain - let's all try to learn from it.

Sometime as we r on the verge of falling there is no time to think of what triggered it , or we r too lazy to go for a walk, best thing would be to buzz a friend here on GYE,
Here I'm making a public announcement if u ever feel u need to have someone help u to get past ur urge feel free to buzz me @ my google talk acct Jewinpain

Hatzlucha

From all i've heard and read on 12steps and SA etc, nothing rings as true for me as the HALT roshei teivos: Simply dont allow yourself to get too:

HUNGRY
ANGRY
LONELY
or TIRED

Included in the Lonely is boredom. Simple but oh so true...

now find myself in a slippery place

Yedidya! Stop now! Do you know the world depends on you now. It can go eathier way to good or c'v to bad, you are the determining fellow, so don't fall how can you afford it later??

Try to grab on to Somebody Above You!

yedidya aleph wrote on 12 Oct 2010 22:46:
Dear yedidya aleph - actually, to heck with 'username' - to whoever you really are:

Ashrecha! You have an ongoing, open-ended license to 'fall'. That will not go away. Even cutting off body parts will not take it away, cuz there will always be a way...

So, ashrecha v'ashrecha that you are reaching out in time of pain or trouble...what else do you expect to really do after so much practice with hiding? You have 'won' already, in my opinion.

Anyone can wish he'd "finally quit and get better", but people make this giant leap from the "silently aching and wishing stage", to the "really wanting freedom" stage, and some even expect to just automatically find themselves at the "totally through-with-it and giving-the-stupid-lust-up already" stage. I think it's totally unrealistic, really.

It seems obvious to me that had I not gone to meetings and talked out the facts about myself and what I really want, they'd have remained bottled up in my head and never, ever had a chance to become real - to become attached to my behavior. feelings are cheap. And while talk is cheap as well, there is something to 'hearing my own mouth describe me' that does something. It brings it a little step closer to the real reality: my actions. When I consistently see it in my actions, I will know that it is coming at least a little bit from my heart, my ikkar - not just from my brain. Having a pretty brain is nice, but anyone can be no'eh doreish, right? For addicts and the like, no'eh doreish was where it all stopped. Here, we can share the unattractive stuff about ourselves - the stuff about us that scares the h--- out ourselves. (And sharing it with real, live people helps us out even more! Machshova, then dibbur, then ma'aseh...b'ficho - then [b]bilvov'cha la'asoso[/b].

So take it easy, trust Him to help you and keep trucking - not 'fighting', trucking!

o.k. thanks for the chizuk.

YA! R u safe?
If u need additional chizak, gimmy a buzz