Hi. Boy, do I hate to break the amazing streak of SILENCE on this thread. What a beautiful statement about the work that's going on here! But... I think a PM or two could be sorta helpful to me right now....

The past day or two, I've been looking around youtube for stuff. Wouldn't consider what I've found to be a "fall," but I'm certainly slipping.  I KNOW that I don't want to break my streak during Selichos. And then, after that, I KNOW that I won't want to break it before Yom Kippur. [I haven't checked, but it's around Day 180.]

But here I am, looking for that little 'buzz' that will keep me going. And I don't know why.

Don't tell me I'll feel stupid if I fall. I bet I won't. Don't tell me I'll find it hard to get back up again. I bet I won't. And don't remind me that "it" is an aveira, because that's not part of the cheshbon at those moments of truth. (For me.) So, I don't really know what I'm even ASKING for in this post. But, it just seemed a good idea to confess when I'm heading downhill. And maybe somebody DOES have an insight....

PM is best, since I'm getting booked with kids, minyan, stuff pretty soon and don't know when I'd be free for a phone call or whatever. Thanks. - Briut

I can think of 2 things

Numero Alef

There is that niggling feeling

It just bubbles under the surface

Numero bays

Slichos rosh hashana etc

We are over tired


It ads to the niggling feeling


Just keep on trucking

Bardichev

Same here. Ich bin meeeeeeeeeedddddd.

LshT SvS L'altar L'chayim!!!!

Who do I contact if I have an emergency?  I don't want to bother anyone in the middle of the night but that is when I'm most often under attack.

Shalom Rabek
It is so great that you are reaching out to prevent falls, that is one of the most difficult but productive steps.
While I may not be available during the night, you can send me a private message via this forum and I will get an email response.
I am also relatively new, so there are plenty who know more than me, but first stop may be one of the available hotlines (look at the main gye site listing).
Also a good bet is to hook up, if you havent already, with one of the group calls and their member rosters.
Depending on your time zone, you can probably find someone around the world who is up at that time and become friends via email / IM /phone. 
From my brief but great experiences here, reaching out to someone at the moment you are tempted to fall is SO IMPORTANT, because it gives you the strength to confront the real emotions that you are trying to run away from by acting out.  And, like scary monsters in the closet when you were a kid, when you look at those feelings directly, often they dissipate and get much smaller. But we are scared to do it alone.
A Gmar Chasimsa Tovah
Levi

I'm here

I was at a simcha where a family member of the baal simcha once flirted with me, in truth she never really flirted but in my mind I took it as a flirt and I fantasize about her every time I see her or remember it.  Today, my fantasies are rolling, I can't get it out of my head, If I continue this way, I am going to act out today, unless I can get rid of it.  I'm going to work, so hopefully I can put my head some other place.

Obsessive sexual thoughts are impossible to get rid of especially when I see something triggering. 

Posting this is hard, ouch  :-X  Just reading it makes me realize what a sicko I am.

MosheF wrote on 20 Sep 2010 13:44:

Dear Moshe,

As I write this, this incident has probably passed. But I still wanted you to see the correction I made.

I don't know of anything that has helped me once the feeling happens, except to know that eventually it will pass.

Keep on Trucking! (Bardichev)

Hatzlocho

Ovadia

You're not a sicko - stop that. You're a completely normal warm-blooded male, specially designed by HKB"H. Resolve that today you won't take a slip. Forget about tomorrow, next week, the next family get-together... Today you won't slip - you can do that - especially since HKB"H is helping you and rooting for you.

Keep up the great work - being aware is half the battle!

pain is weakness leaving the body
(us marines)

One would think that the y"h would give us a pass between Yom Kippur and Succos, but that's not the way it is.

Slips make it much harder not to fall, so the first step is to work on avoiding slips.  Even without slipping, we're all vulnerable to feeling weak sometimes.  At such times, even those of us who are not very good about working the 12 steps would be wise to concentrate on steps 1-3 (admitting powerlessness over lust and recognizing that only the Ribbono Shel Olam can help us get through it).  As always, our focus needs to be on today, or even for the next hour.

can anyone help im feeling very vulnarable!

talk about it here. what do u feel weak about?

I don't know where else to post this so I'm posting it here.  I need a miracle to stay sober today and since I don't believe in miracles (i believe in them but they never happen to me), i'm going to have to just hope for the best.

Money is very tight, something at work isn't going right or at least not the way I want it to go and I can't control it. I am very stressed and am feeling out of control.  I know that even when things go well, they are out of my control and I NEVER control what goes on in my life, I guess i should recognize that.

Yesterday, I surfed the web for a good few minutes but didn't fall.  My thingie is bugging me today and my usual escape (work) isn't working today.  I don't need chizuk, I just wanted to post this in the open, it may help.

FALLING WILL ONLY BUG YOU EVEN MORE

U MAY NOT HAVE TO MUCH MONEY

BUT U WII FEEL LIKE A WINNER

U WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!