I am leaving Yeshiva for the first time since my most recent clean streak.  When I am in Yeshiva, I rarely have any problems or tayvas ( I guess the gemara is true, if youve got the urge, go to the beit midrash).  I just recently put a filter on my computer (It took me way too long to do that) but I know I am going to be around other computers and will probably also have good amounts of alone time.  This is the situation that I fall in everytime.  Sometimes I can last a little while but I usually end up telling myself "Its just one more time, its not that bad" but I really want to keep it clean.
I know the reasons not to and I know so many tricks but it seems that when it comes to crunch-time, it all flies out the window.
I am scared in Yeshiva but when I am not in yeshiva, I become a different person. What should I do?

Stay connected with us, make some friends that you can email, call, talk when you need it.

I highly recommend staying off the computers and internet altogether.  If you have one well-filtered computer in a place where family are coming and going, use that one to check email, read and post on GYE.  Then get off!.  Don't linger at the computer.  You know why you're lingering and surfing.

Make a commitment that if no one's home, you won't even go near the room with the computer.  The more I read people's struggles, the more I suspect that THE COMPUTER ITSELF is a major trigger.  Just sitting there clicking and typing.  Your only hope is to just stay far away.

Guard your eyes in the street.  Avoid images of women in newspapers, mags, the JC Penney flier.  Getting turned on by what's walking around outside will only inflame the taiva to see it all at the computer.

Guard your mind against lustful thoughts.  For this you will need to work the steps.

And take it one day at a time.  One nisayon at a time.

There's no happiness like being clean.  :
Hatzlach!

Alex

One more thing.  I see you have a laptop.  Don't take it anywhere private.  Unpack it and put it right in the kitchen.

i"m gonna be tuff and un-mushy

(i am that way sometimes,sorry)

you can't ant won't be clean without a filter

sorry

get k-9 its free and it woiks!!

bardichev wrote on 27 Jul 2011 17:45:

i agree with the above, why don't the computers that you are around have a filter? why wouldnt anyone want one??  if you don't know how to tell your parents that you need one you can tell them that the rabbomim have said that there is a issur yichid with a computer w/o a filter! so that means you can be in the house ! tell them you don't want to have to leave when no one is home.....  the our hachaim hakodosh says that in these things when faced head on you CANT hold back, what we have to do is put fences, so get a filter!!

I, boruch hashem, no longer live at home. The people I live with when I am not in Yeshiva (for the time being) do not have filters and my personal laptop is a relatively new thing.  In the past, when I wasnt in Yeshiva, we had communal computers, but the beauty and horror of internet is that clicking the button only takes a fraction of a second. My laptop, boruch hashem!, has k-9 now but I know my apartment mates have no interest in getting a filter. My next step is to have them change the password so I cant get on, but I am having trouble finding a way to bring it up without putting myself out there. 

I am working on staying in Yeshiva all the way until Erev Shabbos so I dont have to deal with this issue, but maybe now that I have started putting all my safe guards in place, it is a good time to go back...

puredove wrote on 27 Jul 2011 18:51:


GYE has a filter gabai who can manage your password.

alexeliezer wrote on 27 Jul 2011 18:56:


I boruch Hashem have a good friend who has been clean for five years who is my personal password gabbai, but the filter is only on my computer.  The problem is my roommates computer.

yo' tzadikk puredove

are u gonna take this serious or not

tell your roomie

please activate a password so u wont be tempted to use his computer

hey the answer to every question ismt

prattle prattle prattle

filter filter filter

but numero uno

is  filter

u are cooked peeking duck (pun most definately intended) without it!!!!!

...also try to figure out what to do so you won't have so much time alone.

why can't you tell them this? this is your life line here you gotta do it!

or at least put a password on their lap top...