Machshovo wrote on 16 Jul 2012 21:02:


good vort! thanks for chizzuk! i will move fwd kept clean rest of the day!

If by I just watched it you mean you were watching your penis (yup I wrote that, and would say it, too if I were speaking to you), then I have a suggestion that I have found helps me a good deal, as 'part of a healthy recovery diet': Don't look at your privates at all. Staring at our privates is such a tremendous part of the masturbation experience that It is quite toxic, actually. Incredibly toxic. We become part of the porn when we look at ourselves.

I guess you know what I mean.

If on the other hand, by "watched it" you mean porn....well, then what did u expect? To watch the schmutz and then not have sex with yourself (masturbate)? It doesn't work that way. There is no feeding of our lust that is a freebie. There is always a price for every schmutz we 'steal' a look at. There is no escape from payment. Every deposit remains for a while. Either we will hurt from acting it out or hurt from not acting it out. Either way it hurts so badly when we partake.

Ouch!

So we are the lucky ones who do not look at it, don't use it. Not because we are good. But simply because we cannot afford to look and use it.

One more thing about this entire thread:

Gira b'eyna d'yitzra was not a very good idea. It guaranteed that some tana'aim would actually lose the battle against the yetzer hora. Hmmm.

Perhaps this 'just lets be clean for this period of time!' idea is a throwing down of the gauntlet to our yetzer horas. In which case it will cause us to lose by simply puting the yetzer hora on our minds more than ever - guaranteed. "I just have to fight till the three weeks is over!" Is a sure-fire way to get any guy who deep inside is plotzing to enjoy schmutz when he can get away with it, to simply try and hold his breath...till the time is up. And all along, all he is thinking about is: schmutz!

Just another view...i like making trouble....

Dov,
Very well said. And the proof for that is because I got agitated when I was reading your words it really hit me and you are very right we cannot take even one peak even that is too much. Dov what amazes me is that your words are always true and straight to the point the truth hurts and you know what and this battle I think I need to get hurt a little. I should say really my ego needs to get hurt. But yet somehow at the end of every post you always make me laugh I love it thank you very very very much you have no idea how much influence you are having on me positively that is.
May Hashem bless U with continued Koach to proceed with the holy work u do.
Thank you

Amen, thanks.

And just to clarify, I never wrote that we cannot afford to look at and enjoy porn. All I wrote was that there is always, always a real price to pay in some way and that it is inescapable. I do not mean gehinom, or an angry, nasty god who will beat and burn me in retaliation for my sins.

No.

I mean in my very life right here - my own mind and relationships will be damaged. For I am sick and allergic to it, unlike the common man who can apparently keep looking and partaking of it 'ad yom moso'....

If you really feel that way, too, then I relate fully to what you wrote: "I cannot afford to look at any porn at all." Me too. Nu. It hurts sometimes...poor me. But it is the truth.

Hatzlocha and thanks for the chizzuk!!

Reb Dov,

Yes I meant the latter. Why I can't take a peak is because of what u said.

Thx for clearly saying it,
Hatzlacha

I fell again yesterday with MZ"L any chizuk out ther?

Hi everyone!

Baruch Hashem, I am still being careful and guarding myself with Hashem's help and loving kindness!

We must all realize that it is Hashem who is guiding us and protecting us every second that we are not giving in to our desires.

Its not us.
We could not possibly live without Hashem.
It is Hashem who created us and put us in this world and for a reason.
With a Tachlis.

I once heard that if we are struggling in certain places, for example being Shmiras Einayim/Shmiras Habris, then it means that our main purpose of this earth is to overcome these Nisyonos and fight these specific Yetzer Hora's every day, one day at a time!

Hashem in His loving Kindness sent us to this world, with a 120 year incessant battle with the evil inclination.

Now, the Yetzer can't do a thing to a person who is happy.

When a person is happy, all the weapons that the Yetzer Hora tries to use against a person, they neutralize.
The Yetzer has no power whatsoever over a person who is constantly happy.

So how do we truly be happy?

By thanking Hashem for everything that He does for us every single day.
By just looking at how kind and loving He is to us.

Hashem is our loving Father in heaven, the Master and Creator of the entire universe, the King of Kings!

Just stop and think how much Hashem has always done for us in the past. Throughout the ages, how much Hashem does for us every single day.

Thank Hashem for all His loving Kindness,
for our lives!

Yes we are all living!!

Everyone here on GYE, you are alive and living!!

If you have managed to find your way, through all the crazy lies and rubbish, and finally reached your destination, GYE, then you have life!
No matter how low you may feel, how far away you have been, you are home now, in the warm and loving compounds of GYE!!

But, then the Yetzer comes along and we all of a sudden feel, totally helpless.
HELP!!
NO!!
I CAN'T DO THIS!!
HASHEM!!
PLEASE, I NEED YOUR HELP NOW!

Hey! Wait a second. Just calm down.

You have just completed the first step: "We admitted we were powerless over lust--that our lives had become unmanageable."

WOW!

That's unbelievable!

Just by us stopping and crying out for help to Hashem, for realizing that we cannot possibly do this on our own, we have completed the first step to overcoming our problems!

So next time you feel like acting out and giving in to the Yetzer's stupid tricks,
stop,
compose yourself,
weigh up your choices,
and admit your powerlessness to Hashem.

That's all,
just ask Hashem.
All Hashem wants to see is that we really know that its He who runs the world and only He can help us.

So lets focus on fighting, ONE DAY AT A TIME, STEP BY STEP,
and then we will be able to experience true joy!

I have to say, that Baruch Hashem in terms of me watching my eyes on the streets, as well as my thoughts have been doing a lot better, but sometimes when I am sitting by myself and playing around on comp, or my phone il somehow manage to dig up shmutz. And the. Il fall. That's what happened to me yesterday. But got back up. Made some more security's and moved on.
Thanks guys.

And thank you Hashem!!

Hew Newbie,

What about setting up some more activities? being busy?

That is a good idea.
Though I think for me the hardest time is between 4.30 and 7.00.
It just gets sooooo draggy no matter what I am doing then I should set thats usually when I am during 2nd Seder. Lol idk if u know that feeling.

I really had a nasty fall, dont ask. Hashem wants me to just forget the past and start fresh and I'm going now iy"H to have a dip and start again. Please Hashem help me.

i am highly impressed at how you're getting up again.sheva yipol tzadik vkum.it's really more than seven - it could even be a thousand

jack

Newbi wrote on 20 Jul 2012 04:46:


I get it when I know im tired and havent been sleeping well. After that its too late to take a nap and ill somehow end up till like 12ish. Or if the learning isnt going good. But I dont understand? you were saying that this is a problem now.. or in yeshiva?




And its through the falls that we learn how to beat the Yetzer. Meaning you fell so now you can see. What caused the fall? What was I doing and what will I be doing differently? Keep it up IAH! Its only a matter of time

inspiredandhopeful wrote on 20 Jul 2012 13:51:


Don't ask?

I would wager that this "don't ask" thing is more your problem than your penis itself is. B'emess. Hiding and "don't ask"ing are neither 'privacy' nor 'tzniyus' - they are simply the way we protect our precious stash so we can keep using it with no changes whatsoever. Ah, the comfort zone...

By the same token, the entire use of the 'yetzer hora' is overblown, I think. And I bet that, if anything, the yetzer hora loves that! The reality is that until you really open up and get real with another caring and understanding person who is no angel himself but clean (and getting saner)) - your old habits are safe. Is that what you want? Only you can decide.

Hatzlocha!

Newbi wrote on 20 Jul 2012 02:11:


Hey Newbi, how about considering some stronger filtering or accountability on your phone and computer?
it works for me:

Hatzloche, KC