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90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 84133 Views

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 31 Oct 2013 23:03 #222487

  • LeHavote Aish
ChaimCharlie Wrote:

What about some reasons to act out?

That is actually interesting, we should come up with 90,000 reasons why to YES act out on it and then when someone comes to debate they'll decide, pros and cons....

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Nov 2013 03:26 #222877

  • Dov
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Dear Avreml,

The discussion about davening for them is kind of funny, really. You are trying to figure something out that is not about reason, but action. Taking the action of praying for them even though it makes no sense at all, will change you if you want to stop and be free of them. It will help you admit they are beloved and cared for by Hashem who loves and cares for everything He made, no matter how it appears to us.

Doing this action will help you. Understanding it, will not.

All this maharsho-thinking is a big, fat waste of time. We cannot think ourselves into right living - or we would have done it long ago! We can only live ourselves itno right thinking, by taking the right actions and letting them change us.

Relax and do things that help others, man. Enough thinking. This best thinking of yours is how you - a frum ben Torah - ended up masturbating enough to need a site like this in the first place.

I am the same way, bud. You are not alone.
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 19 Nov 2013 04:24 #223580

  • R76
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LeHavote Aish wrote:
ChaimCharlie Wrote:

What about some reasons to act out?

That is actually interesting, we should come up with 90,000 reasons why to YES act out on it and then when someone comes to debate they'll decide, pros and cons....


That would be a debate between Reform and Conservative vs. Orthodox Jewish point of view. I do not think it would be helpful.

Reform and Conservative religion supports all kinds of sin -- in particular homosexuality. To my great shame I am de facto Conservative in my observance.

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 19 Nov 2013 20:38 #223608

  • LeHavote Aish
I did not fall because of any thinking and I am not getting up because of any reasoning and I don't believe you can get anywhere with just thinking of getting there, I was just making a funny point, how that reasoning is futile, and I am not trying to make this a Orthodox vs. Conservative debate, not at all, just a little humor, no?
Good day to all!

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 20 Nov 2013 01:59 #223634

  • ddmm11219
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i must say NO because, i should not be dead the way i am when not ok
אל תמות כדרך שמת פלוני
...וְאִם גַּם אֶתְאַמֵּץ בְּעֵצוֹת וְתַחְבֻּלוֹת וְכָל יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל יַעַמְדוּ לִימִינִי לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְלִתְמֹךְ נַפְשִׁי, מִבַּלְעֲדֵי עֻזְּךָ וְעֶזְרָתְךָ אֵין עֶזְרָה וִישׁוּעָה...‬

מתוך תפילה נפלאה שחיבר הרה"ק רבי מאיר מאפטא זצוק"ל, בעל מחבר ספר "אור לשמים", ונדפסה בתחילת ספרו.

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 20 Nov 2013 21:38 #223703

  • LeHavote Aish
I do not understand what you mean

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Jan 2014 08:15 #226147

  • HHJR613
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Another reason to say NO is to show yourself you have control. Each NO should make you proud!

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Jan 2014 22:26 #226178

  • LeHavote Aish
I actually think it is the opposite, we have to realize that we have NO CONTROL and only God has any control (and all control) and thus we have to turn ourselves over to God. If we had any control then who needs God?

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 06 Jan 2014 23:09 #226190

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Truth is that sometimes I'm not really sure why I say "NO". But we just gotta say it anyways. Like Paroah. Why did he say "no"? It doesn't make any sense. But he just stuck to his own for no comprehensible reason. No! No! No! I will not let them go!

"מאויבי תכחמני"
אלא יש לו לייחד כל מעשיו לשמו הגדול לבד, ולא ישתף עמו דבר אחר
That's the goal. The key to everything. Working on it, bs"d.

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 02 Apr 2014 02:07 #229672

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LeHavote Aish wrote:
ChaimCharlie Wrote:

What about some reasons to act out?

That is actually interesting, we should come up with 90,000 reasons why to YES act out on it and then when someone comes to debate they'll decide, pros and cons....


Today I am six months clean, but it is difficult for me not to act out. Before Summer '13 when I learned that it is a very severe sin, I acted out about twice a week and almost never felt bad or guilty -- not being in Orthodox Jewish community I did not even hide the fact that I buy certain magazines. Not acting out is a significant sacrifice -- especially since I am single and have no prospect of marriage.

I do understand that acting out is a great sin against G-d, and that it causes enormous suffering to unborn souls, and that according to many authorities, that can bring eternal punishment. I hope these reasons alone will keep me from falling into my old patterns.

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 02 Apr 2014 02:22 #229677

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Dov wrote:
Just curious:

Is there anyone on this thread for whom these reasons really work?

None of them ever saved my behind from myself...


I know this is very un G-dly and unethical on my part. The only reason that has prevented me from sinning is the fear of punishment. I hope I can have enough fear to keep from acting out.

I have very little contact with Orthodox Jewish community -- actually little contact with anyone. In secular circles these behaviors are not considered shameful.

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 02 Apr 2014 03:36 #229683

  • inastruggle
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I have to disagree with that.Not sinning due to fear is perfectly G-dly and ethical.It isn't the highest level of repentance but it's definitely valid.

That said, in practice it seems that almost no one manages to stop with fear alone.However if you use the fear to spur yourself to make the changes (in your head and in real life) necessary to help yourself stop, then it can be helpful.

Some further reading on teshuva:
guardyoureyes.com/articles/torah/item/teshuva-mi-yirah-and-teshuva-mi-ahava

www.chabad.org/holidays/JewishNewYear/template_cdo/aid/4367/jewish/Love-Fear.htm

Btw, isolation is something that fuels this behavior.Reach out, through this website and in real life.

Hatzlacha

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 04 Apr 2014 09:11 #229880

  • Lochaim
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Say NO to acting out - so that you can live free. So that you can live without fear of being discovered, so that you can live a day feeling like you are a master and not a slave, so that you be proud of who you are, and that you can finally feel the G-dliness that lies deep inside coursing through your veins.
אם אין אני לי מי לי - I gotta take responsibility for myself!

וכשאני לעצמי מה אני - That's why I need all of you!

ואם לא עכשיו אימתי - That's why I'm here!

Thank you all!

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 04 Apr 2014 13:25 #229887

  • melost
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I say no to lust that's what im powerless over lust I take it in I WILL ACT OUT so just for today with help from my higher power im not going to let any lust in
avrohom

Re: 90,000 Reasons To Say NO to acting out.... in 20 words or less 04 Apr 2014 16:13 #229896

the feeling of not acting out for a long time, is better then the feeling of doing it for a short tim
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