The 12 Steps

In this 2 minute video clip, the well known addiction therapist, Dr. Lew Abrams, LCSW, gives a simple definition of addiction. Dov gives feedback: I feel this clip is precious, clear, and honest. I have spoken with Lew a few times and everytime I do I am impressed with...

Avraham – the First Man in Recovery! עשרה נסיונות נתנסה אברהם אבינו ועמד בכלם להודיע כמה חבתו של אברהם אבינו "Our forefather Abraham was tested with ten trials and he withstood all of them - to show the degree of our forefather Abraham's love for G-d." (Pirke Avos 4:2) ...

For many years, I tried to beat lust. If only I could figure it out, wrap my head around it, I would be able to control it. Many times, especially after falls or lots of pain, I was sure that I had finally internalized that it was SHEKER, that there was nothing there. I w...

Dear Desperate Yid, here are some ideas I'd like to share with you:1- This 'powerlessness' idea is actually all about taking personal responsibility for one's actions - if the person is an addict. It simply means that we finally recognize that all the good (or not so good...

The fourth step... involves accounting and preparation—they are interdependent, because how we account for the past is how we prepare for the future. In our program Inventory means "searching" we examine the mistakes of the past in order not to repeat them. In particul...

Let's cut right to the heart of the matter: We get in trouble if we try to run our own lives. Our ego starts to mess things up. We try to control things we can't control. We think we are smarter than we are. We start to think we can run things just fine by ourselve...

"Powerless" has nothing whatsoever to do with 'ilmolei ozro, eino yachol lo' and is not the flipside of 'hakol bidei Shomayim chutz miyir'as Shomayim', at all. Whether I am in control or not is a simple fact: if I cannot stop having sex with myself (most folks call that ...

GYE Responds: Thank you for this nice share. Yes, what Dov always shares seems to be the only way to beat the yetzer hara at the end of the day. I was thinking recently, we find by the story of the Meraglim, that they clearly saw that אל פי טבע (naturally) there was no...

Everyone needs some sort of help to make it in life - even our tzaddikim and gedolim admit that they do. But... I keep hearing people asking in one way or another, "So how can I finally convince myself that I am really powerless/that I am an addict?" Gevalt. I do ...

In the sugya of Matan Torah in Mesichta Shabbos there are (amongst many others) two mamorei Chazal: 1. The Yidden said Naaseh V'Nishman 2. כפה עליהם הר כגגית- the Eibishter held the mountain above the Yidden thereby forcing them to accept the Torah. The question arises if...

I want to thank Hashem for extending His Hand and showing me the GYE website. I am addicted to Lust. I am totally powerless, and it is only by the grace of G-d that I can begin to change my life. I’m 36 years old and have been struggling with this problem for two dec...

There is the story of the man who fell off a cliff in the dark and on the way down grasped a branch and hung on for dear life. Weakening, he finally cried out to heaven, "Please help me!" and the answer came, "Let go!" "But if I let go I'll die," the man replied. "Let g...

The core of the famous "12-Step" program and the secret to its great success, are the first 3 steps: 1. We admitted we were powerless over lust, and that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanit...

Elya K (our dedicated 12-Step phone conference moderator) offers below a Frum "10 Step Program" as an alternative to the 12-Step program, for anyone that - for whatever reason - doesn't feel the 12-Steps "talk to them". Elya writes: I just attended a convention with 650 ...

Download the video directly here, or see it on the Aish.com website here (if you can't watch Youtube videos [hopefully!] then click the link below the video to watch it in a different player). Dov explains the point of this video: The video is not so precious because it ...

Addicts have a problem -- their addiction. I had a problem -- my addiction and my inability to overcome it. Convictions got us nowhere. I had plenty of convictions. I was learning sifrei musar regularly and seriously for 20 years. Had I been in control, no doubt I would h...

The more we understand the underlying message the 12-Steps represent, the more we can understand the underlying message of Yetzias Mitzrayim as well. Those who work the 12-Steps into their lives, claim that they no longer have to fight the Yetzer Hara; Hashem does it for...

The 3rd step states: "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him". In the past we tried to explain how this works: Instead of retaining the lust and trying to give up our will to Hashem, we surrender the lust itself to ...