If you are in SA and are willing to be a contact for other frum people in your city who may need SA (to speak with them and introduce them to the groups), please send your contact info to gye.help@gmail.com (first name, cell number, anonymous email address).

Thank you!

It is brought down in many places, especially in the chassidish sefarim, that a person needs friends to help him in avodas Hashem.

Chazal say: כל הגדול מחבירו יצרו גדול ממנו.

The Beis Aharon of Karlin read this in the following way:

כל הגדול - מחבירו - Whoever is great, it's from his friend/s.

יצרו גדול - ממנו - If his Yetzer is big, it's from him.

In other words, when one remains isolated and not connected with friends who can help him in avodas Hashem, his Yetzer Hara will be much bigger.

So make sure to find a good friend you can be open with about your struggles, and use the power of GYE's forums, chat-rooms and phone conferences to reach out to others who can give you chizuk!

I am not a professional at all, nor do I have any psychology background. I have been addicted for several decades and have been involved in active recovery for several years. B"H, by the grace of God, thru the help of therapists, meetings, friends, 12-step-program, and to the wonderful chevra of GYE, I consider myself sober - for the moment. I work with tens of addicts on a daily basis and I conduct a call several times a week, where we actively work the 12-step-program, in addition to other methods.

What I have found, in myself, and by others, is that the urges we get are not simply a plot of the yetzer, but rather, they are from an addiction. I am not smart enough to know how the yetzer hara mixes into our addiction, but I do know that the methods of combating the yetzer hara are not the ones that work for us. Many of us have tried learning more mussar, speaking to our rabbeim and mashgichim, devoting more time and dedication into our tefillah, but to no or little avail. We needed to learn how to live life again. We were and are a selfish bunch, and we are part of a group which harbors resentments, we are extremely self centered, unusually jealous and very isolated. The steps taught us about connection - to God, our spouses, family and friends. It taught us to live outside of ourselves. And yes, the mussar, tefillah, Torah and mitzvos mean much more to us now.

If an urge happens upon us now, I/we understand that we did not vanquish the dragon. It is alive and well within us. But we learned that at those times, we need to reach out to God, our sponsors, our group, or friends to help us weather the storm. We use the tools of surrendering, praying and bringing the lust to light in order to suppress it. The moment we think that we have this beat, and we in fact are not powerless, but rather, we are powerful, and the urge is simply one of an ordinary person's yetzer hara, is the moment that the dragon will rear its big ugly head and ensnare us once again.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.