Ok, so here's the invitation!
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1472  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Editor’s Note: New Phone Conference Cycles - Invitation to follow
Announcements: Join Now - Duvid Chaim's Phone Conferences
Daily Dose of Dov: The Importance of Feeling 'Ok' About Ourselves
Announcements: A Message from Dov re.: New Call Cycle
Links: Video #13 - Your Best Friend
 
 
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Editor’s Note
 
New Phone Conference Cycles - Invitation to follow

Dear GYE, 

please find below invitations to the new cycles of our phone conferences: Dov's Desperadoes and Duvid Chaim's phone groups. Yesterday, we started by publishing a user testimonial for DC's call, claiming great success as the result of his participation. Today, find below Duvid Chaim's direct invitation to you - yes, you - to replicate this success.

And if you've been enjoying Daily Doses of Dov, can you imagine how much benefit you can get from his direct invlovement in your recovery? So see Dov's personal invitation below, as well.

Wondering what the difference is between the two? 

Duvid Chaim's groups are for anyone interested in learning about or working the 12-Step program. The calls take place 4 times a week, Mon - Thurs. See more info below.

Dov's group (The Desperados) is a private call. The pin number is not given out to anyone unless they speak first with Dov. That means that no guests can listen in. It is for those who are really desperate (hence the name "Desperados") and who are ready to be honest and open. It takes place Sundays and Wednesdays. 
Contact Dov for more info. 

Duvid Chaim's 12-Step phone Groups are The Big Book Study Group and particpation is open throughout the cycle, although you will, of course, benefit more if you take the whole journey from beginning to end.

Announcements
 
Join Now - Duvid Chaim's Phone Conferences
 

Are you asking yourself any of the following questions:

I'm sick and tired of feeling TRAPPED IN LUST. I've stopped before - had some sobriety - but always seem to fall back into it again and again. What can I do to finally STOP?!

I've been working on my LUST - I've been on the Guard Your Eyes Forum - I've seen a therapist - I've gone to SA Meetings - I've been on the GYE Conference Calls. Why isn't this ENOUGH?!

I've already worked the 12 Step Program. I think I know what it's supposed to do for me. But it doesn't work! This is so frustrating. This Program will never work for me! Is there any hope for me?!

PLEASE JOIN US FOR

THE LAUNCH of THE LIFE-CHANGING VOYAGE OF THE GYE16 - CRUISE TO FREEDOM.

Launched on Monday May 10, 2016

But IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO JOIN!

8:30AM with Cap'n Martin B BACK at the HELM with his trusted Lieutenants

12 Noon with Duvid Chaim and Co-Captains Yakkov New and Zak

9:30PM with Cap'n Gingerbread and Lieutenants

Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays!

(all times are EST)

NOTE: THIS WEDNESDAY MAY 11 AT NOON IS A SPECIAL SHARE BY DUVID CHAIM!

Whether you’re a Newcomer or a Veteran, you’ve got to hear it!

The Conference Call In Number is (641) 715-3836

Participant Access Code 637207#

For a whole bunch of useful details about the Conference Calls, please see this link:

https://guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/big-book-study-group

Daily Dose of Dov
 
The Importance of Feeling 'Ok' About Ourselves
 
By GYE Corp.

I am an addict, and this problem took me for a ride for over 20 years, always getting worse. I learned, studied all about the Yetzer Hara, went to Rebbis, shrinks, and read books, learned harder, and did tons of teshuvah....

Here is what I learned:

I masturbated for years until I went to Eretz Yisroel and stayed clean the entire time while learning b'hasmodah in yeshiva - came back to NY for two months in between and acted out twice (quite an improvement, really), then went back for the second year, again clean the entire time.

My Rebbis in Eretz Yisroel basically gave me the message that if I leave a life of Toraso u'mnaso and went back to the unholy land, I'd be "off the Derech" and out of Hashem's personal Hashgocha; that He would not love me any more and that I was basically a dirtbag.

But I had no choice. I was 20, had no job, had holocaust parents who truly loved me, and was not of the type of strong constitution to "go it alone", anyway. So of course I came back to the U.S.

I felt sure I was a dirtbag; a loser in the eyes of Hashem.

My mentality tortured me and played a major role in my innocent, growing need to get pleasure in lust. After all, it was the only truly reliable way for me to feel anything really enjoyable.

I went to university and to yeshiva in U.S for a while and got married. Kollel, more school, a job, kids.... that's when my problem really took off! By 1995 I was just awful, but living a double life - a generally acceptable father, husband, and person... but not on the inside.

I'm stopping my story here in order to try and get this point across:

The power of dejection - feeling "I am not good at all", is horrifying. That pain drove me deeper into addictive behaviors. Today, I know (and so does my wife!) that I need to daven in a minyan and learn regularly, maintain proper hygiene, stay in touch with Hashem, be honest and have integrity... Not just because they are the right thing to do, but because if I do not, I will act out! There is only so much self-condemnation I can take before I will need to medicate. It's as simple as that.

Surely Hashem understands this and wishes me to take good care of myself, even using His mitzvos. Isn't this "liShmah", in the end?

Nu. Even if the answer would be "No!" (c"v), I'd do it all anyway, just to stay sober. Cuz sobriety is life to me. And I want to live, thank-you.

The annoying flip side of this, however, is learning how to accept occasional mediocrity in learning and davening themselves! If I demand perfection in even those basic areas, I will guarantee failure. This is a hard pill to swallow for many. It seems like a contradiction but: As much as behaving right is part of feeling OK about myself, accepting my humanity (imperfection) is part of it too. Anything else is just plain ga'avah - and deadly. But that is just reality, and growing up. A mature person's Avodas Hashem really is just progress, not perfection. It really is ratzoh vashov. I really am human.

When it comes to my essential acting out behavior - using masturbation and porn - I can't tolerate it at all, true. But that is a gift from Hashem, too. We do whatever it takes to avoid that stuff, for it sets us on a road of insanity.

Announcements
 
A Message from Dov re.: New Call Cycle
 

The Desperados call can start up its new cycle be"H Sunday May 8th at noon NYC time. The call-in # is on the website, same as all other calls, but the pin # is available from me, only. Anyone who wishes to join just needs to email me to discuss the call and get the PIN.

Thanks so much!

Dov

Links
 

These 19 short videos clips are excerpts from a series on theshmuz.com by Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier called "The Fight - A Frank Strategy and Pan for Conquering Desire".

Gathering from the wisdom of chazal, this series presents a solid understanding of the mechanics of desire, and offers us a strategy and plan to winning The Fight of our Generation.

Video #13 - Your Best Friend

 

"The Gemara (Talmud) in Sukkah tells us "l'asid lavo,” at the end of days, Hakadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One, blessed be He) will take the yetzer hara (evil inclination), will take the Soton (Satan), "v'shachto," Hashem will kill him, "befnei hatzadikim ub'fnei haresha'im," in front of the righteous and in front of the wicked. And the Gemara explains "halalu bochim v'halalu bochim," both groups will be crying bitter, bitter tears. The tzadikim cry because..."

Click the link above for the full story and video.

Email us if you don't have internet access, and we will send you the story by email. (sorry, we can't send the video.)

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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