All about the Steps: big steps, small steps, 12 steps, 25 steps.
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1450  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Prevention: 25 Steps to Beating Porn Addiction
Text: Conference Call Times - Duvid Chaim, SSA etc.
Daily Dose of Dov: The Big Book
12 Step Attitude: Bill of the Big Book
Torah: Yetzias Mitzrayim
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Prevention
 
 
25 Steps to Beating Porn Addiction
 

Please check out the full guide to beating porn addiction in this and upcoming issues (For the first in the series, please refer to issue #1436). The creators of the infographic have taken each of the 25 strategies and provided clear practical actions to take in detail:

    ***Get an accountability partner. (The ideas below are not applicable to most GYE members, for a simple reason that GYE offers all these service - for free - that are being described below. However, we publish it here to preserve the continuity of the article as well as in hopes that some might still benefit from tools other than GYE. We are not stingy with recovery - as long as you find what works for you, we say: "More power to you!"

    Giving up porn is turning into a movement as hundreds of thousands of young men break free of it each year. There is strength in numbers.

    Many ex-porn users say they relied on the support of others to help them quit. Using an online support group put them in touch with many other people suffering from the same issues. The anonymity of an online forum enabled them to engage with others without the fear of being exposed or judged.

    The SubReddit PornFree is a great place to start for advice and support. You can also try Porn Addiction and Daily Strength. Another online group is Slaa Online.

    Another powerful solution is to work with an accountability partner so your online activity is public to some you trust or someone in a similar situation who you can call on for non-judgemental advice and support. Software such as X3 Watch can hook up with an accountability partner. Each week they’ll get an email report of the sites you’ve visited.

    Covenant Eyes is similar software but it has a religious focus which some ex-porn users found helpful.

Text
 
Conference Call Times - Duvid Chaim, SSA etc.
 
By obormottel

Dear GYE family,

Please note that the US has gone on Daylight Savings Time - so for this week and next week, those attending should be aware that the regularly scheduled Conference Calls are all based on EDT times - therefore, for example, if you live in Israel or Europe,

Duvid Chaim’s Noon Call will be at 6:00 pm. If you attend the weekly GYE SSA Conference calls, just for this week - until Israel also changes their clocks - the call will begin an hour later at 11:45 am - 12:30 pm

FYI, Israel springs forward on March 25th and Europe springs forward on March 27th.

Daily Dose of Dov
 
The Big Book
 
By Dov

Holy Jews,

Please consider getting hold of a copy of "Alcoholics Anonymous" and reading it, especially chapters 2 and 3. Just substitute the word "Lust" in place of "alcohol".

If you actually read what it has to say and like it, then I'd suggest looking at the last two pages of "Step Two" in the other main AA text called "The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions." It talks there about religious folks like us who nevertheless are in this crazy mess.

Hatzlocha Rabba!

12 Step Attitude
 
Bill of the Big Book
 
Part 1/2
 
By A.A.

To all those who suffer from Lust addiction, we highly recommend reading the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous. Download the full and complete edition of the "Big Book" (For our purposes, remember to replace the word "Alcohol" everywhere in the book with "Lust").

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Torah
 
Yetzias Mitzrayim
 
Understanding the core of the 12-Steps
 
By GYE

The more we understand the underlying message the 12-Steps represent, the more we can understand the underlying message of Yetzias Mitzrayim as well.

Those who work the 12-Steps into their lives, claim that they no longer have to fight the Yetzer Hara; Hashem does it for them. The question is, why would Hashem do such miracles for someone who - until today - was addicted to the lowest behaviors and had all but completely forgotten about Hashem?

I think the answer can be found in the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim.The Yidden in Egypt had reached the 49th level of impurity. They had cried out to Hashem in utter powerlessness, and Hashem had heard their cry. But they didn't have any merits of their own. As the Pasuk in Yecheskel (16:6) says: "Ve'at Erom ve'eraya - and you were naked and bare". So in what merit were they able to leave? As the Pasuk continues... "and I passed over you and I saw you wallowing in your blood, and I said to you, in your blood you shall live, and I said to you in your blood you shall live". The Targum Yonosan translates these two bloods as referring to the blood of the Pesach sacrifice and the blood of the Bris Milah that the yidden made before leaving Mitzrayim. So we see that the Yidden did indeed need some Zechusim before they were able to merit Yetziyas Mitzrayim. Let us try and understand what was unique about these two Mitzvos that enabled them to break free from the lowest levels.

Hashem told the Yidden to take a sheep and tie it to the bed post. The Beis Ahron of Karlin writes that the miracle was twofold. Firstly, because the sheep were worshiped by the Egyptians who saw their G-d being tied up as a sacrifice, and yet they didn't say anything. And the second miracle was "...that the Yidden themselves did such a thing and gave themselves over with complete Messiras Nefesh for the faith and honor of Hashem. And this could not have been done in any other way, only with Messiras Nefesh. Because from such a abominable and disgusting place (like Mitzrayim) that the yidden were in, as it says "you were naked and bare", they could not have left from there to freedom only through this - that they were Mosser nefesh completely for Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And the Sefarim write that they tied it to the bedpost because that is the place where the strength of the Egyptians came from (sexual promiscuity). And even so, from the very place that the Egyptians took their strength of impurity, the Jewish people tied it there - with Messiras Nefesh for Hashem".

And this is what happens as well in Step Three of the 12 Steps. The person gives his will and life over with complete Messiras Nefesh to the care of G-d. And by doing this, he ties his animal nature to the bed post, completely surrendering all sexual desire to Hashem. And it is in this merit that he is worthy of the miracle that occurs afterwards when G-d removes him from Mitzrayim, and he suddenly discovers - as the Pasuk says: "Hashem Yilachem Lachem, Ve'atem tacharishum - G-d will fight for you, and you shall be silent".

And this is also perhaps why the second blood was the blood of Milah, which again symbolizes the Messiras Nefesh that the Yidden had in guarding the bris and covenant with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

As the Bne Yissachar writes (Derech Pikudecha): "We have a tradition from our fathers that the Yetzer Hara desires more than anything to attack a person through sexual sins, because in this desire are included all the others".

Since sexual desire encompasses all other desires, by tying the sheep to the bed-post and by making a Bris Millah, both of which symbolize Messiras Nefesh in the area of sexual purity, the Yidden were in essence giving ALL their desires over to Hashem, and in this merit they were able to break free of the impurity of Egypt.

To sum up, for our purposes: The lesson of Yetziyas Mitzrayim, which symbolizes breaking free from the lowest levels of impurity and servitude to the Yetzer hara, is accomplished today just as it was then, by recognizing we are powerless and crying out to Hashem (Step 1) and by giving our lives and will over to Him with complete Messiras Nefesh (Step 3). And this is not so hard for us addicts to do, because we have no choice. We know that continuing down the path of addiction will destroy our lives, both in this world and the next.

So let us cry out to Hashem to open our hearts, and let us give our lives and will over to Him in a very real and basic way. For that is the message of Yetziyas Mitzrayim as the Pasuk says "Zacharti Lach Chesed Ne'uraiyich - Lech Tech Arai Bamidbar etc... I remember the kindness of your youth, come after me into the desert". Let us feel as the Yidden felt then when they followed Hashem blindly into the desert; a complete dependency on Hashem - like new born babies.

Shomer recently posted on the forum:

Perhaps the most shocking revelation to me personally, having come to the 12 steps out of the realization that I truly have no other option, is this:

The steps are not a self-help program, they are not a psychological methodology, they are about making a connection with G-d in a very basic and real way.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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