Packing List for the 90-day journey
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1436  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Announcements: Another Great Talk by Dov
Chizuk: Packing List for a 90-day journey
Announcements: Duvid Chaim's Workshop
Prevention: 25 Steps to Beating Porn Addiction
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Announcements
 
Another Great Talk by Dov
 

Dov, who is sober in SA for more than 18 years, will be giving another talk on Wed, March 2, titled:

"Some kavanos of a recovering sexaholic:
A discussion on the daily Siddur”

On the relevance of tefillah and its misuse, as well as ways that recovery sometimes changes davening.

March 2, Wednesday afternoon at 5pm EST

Call in number: 641-715-3836

Participant Access-Code: 651874#

This talk will be another angle on the challenge of recovery for the frum yid, as compared with the talk called
"Is recovery easier or harder for a frum person?" (given on Feb 11, 2016).

Chizuk
 
Packing List for a 90-day journey
 
Member "S.M." shared what helped him upon reaching 90 days clean:
 
By GYE Member

There are many different strategies that one can employ in order to reach a target. I can only share what worked for me.

I found the Step 1 share incredibly liberating and it allowed me to get rid of fantasies that were swirling around my head. This allowed me to finally air-out how sick I was and admit to safe people that my life was completely unmanageable and that I was addicted to lust. Until that point, either I didn't know or I was in denial about how sick I was.

The importance of the fellowship was critical for me in this early stage of recovery. It has allowed me to reach out and ask for help - this is the message of Step 2 - I cannot fight this disease by myself and I need the strength and unity of like-minded people to help me learn to live with this disease. The guys help me reach out and break my isolation. They have given me the strength to realize that I may never get "healed" from sensitivity to lust, and it is something that I have to live with and adapt my life accordingly. Very much like a chocoholic who finds out that he is a diabetic - either he changes his lifestyle or he dies. My disease is exactly the same, either I stop giving in to my lust or I die. Of course it is hard and there are times I just want to say 'to hell with it all'. But it is at this point that I fall back to my Step 1 - I don't want to die.

I also have found helpful my incredibly supportive wife. I know I broke all the 'rules' when I told her everything, she even read my Step 1 before I gave it. Obviously, this led to a tremendously difficult few weeks. However, she has accepted me for who I am, she isn't happy about it and sometimes she wants to give up, but she is giving me the most unbelievable support. I am completely accountable to her. There is a book called 'For Men Only' by a guy called Jeff Feldhahn, it gave me a lot of insight into my wife's mind and it showed me how to be there for her and give her the emotional space that she needs. Of course, it is hard, and there are times that it is extremely difficult, and I am not there for her. But at least now, I know when I have screwed up and why.

One more thing that helped me was that I had a sponsor that knew I didn't want to lose my sobriety. I know that for much of the last 90 days I have been white-knuckling. But my sponsor helped keep me sane and guided me through very troubled and turbulent waters. It took about 70 days of white-knuckling and being brutally honest with my sponsor before I was able to start a "positive" sobriety.

Additionally, I had to learn to take each moment as it comes. It is so hard to live knowing that you may never get better. So instead of focusing on the future, take each moment as it comes and in that moment, focus on why you are doing what you are doing.

Finally, without prayer and without G-d's help I would never have gotten to this point. I have been frum my whole life, but it is only now that I am finally learning how to pray to G-d. My G-d. The G-d who loves me.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But if we live for today we can trust that tomorrow will be even better.

Announcements
 
 
Duvid Chaim's Workshop
 
Prevention
 
 
25 Steps to Beating Porn Addiction
 

Please check out the full guide to beating porn addiction in this and upcoming issues. The creators of the infographic have taken each of the 25 strategies and provided clear practical actions to take in detail:

  1. Believing you can break the habit is half the battle 

      Belief is a powerful driver of change. Repeat studies have shown that people have more success replacing addictions and entrenched bad habits than those who don’t believe they can change. Wanting to give up porn is key to being successful.

      Believing you can give up, allows you the space to plan how to give up, as you can focus your attention, energy and motivation away from the addiction itself to efforts to break and combat the addiction.

      Change is possible. Humans are designed to adapt to change.

      You just have to look around you and see what belief has achieved. So now that you have the belief, what are you waiting for?


Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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