Rabbi Avrohom Feuer

will be joining us on

Duvid Chaim's 12-Step phone conference

12 PM EST - Wednesday December 2nd, 2015.

The theme of the call:

Yosef HaTzadik

Triumph over Temptation

How did this abandoned teenager pull it off?

Special - “Ask the Rabbi” Q&A

after R. Feuer’s Drasha

Rabbi Avrohom Feuer

World Renown Speaker and Author

Talmid/Son-in-law R. Mordechai Gifter

Please Join us by calling:

From U.S: 641-715-3836

From Israel: 076 599 0060

From U.K: 0330 606 0520

Participant Access Code: 637207#

To LISTEN TO OUR AMAZING GUEST SPEAKERS,

Here is the link to the conference call page: https://guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/big-book-study-group

I am introducing myself as a way of forcing myself to face my own problem honestly. I am well passed adolescence (>50), yet I feel I never really grew up in the area of porn.I had to finally face reality when I was asked to leave my job for viewing Porn.

"Avodashashemyisbarach" writes:

I have just started a clean streak for the first time on GYE last week while my wife was overseas. Today she returned home, and today was my most difficult so far -even though my wife looks like a million dollars. The Gemara teaches that the yetzer should be brought to the beis hamedrash not to the chupa. Sorry guys, but the only solution is Torah.

"Dov" responds:

Well, I for one agree with this fellow, that true love beats the heck out of looks without true love. The prettiest thing I can ever see in my wife is that she truly loves me (not necessarily approves, but loves me) totally and unconditionally.

Mutual love also seems to naturally grow out of living together with my wife while I am free of the bonds of lust.

But by the same token, while the answer to living free of the tyranny of lust must be in the Torah, saying that "Torah is the answer" is ikkar chosair min hasefer (misses the point), just as saying that "seeing the beauty in my wife is the answer to a better marriage" misses the point. The beauty can be there - and so can her love and devotion - but as long as lust is in me, I cannot see it. I could neither see, nor use the answer that is in the Torah, either.

Thank G-d I am sober today!!

"Kanesher" writes:

Those who know me on this forum know that I know a bit about learning - and trust me - it doesn't help; not even one little bit, for an addict. Addicts need addiction tools, not Torah.

"Habaletaher" writes:

I gotta be honest with you, I have tried the "Torah tavlin" thing, and sometimes it's not enough... Maybe it is just because I'm an addict, or maybe because I'm so farshmutzed... but either way, I can learn for 3 hours straight and then fall 20 mins later...

"Kollel Guy" writes:

You know, I really can say I have had the same experience. Interestingly, some of the worst tekufos in my learning had little or no falls/slips, whereas some of my best tekufos in learning were full of uchy things. I just don't know what to say.

The following is meant as a convenient review of Hilchos Yichud ( written by Rabbi Y. Dov Krakowski). The Piskei Din for the most part are based purely on the Sugyos, Shulchan Aruch and Ramah, and Nosei Keilim unless stated otherwise. They are based on my understanding of the aforementioned texts through the teachings of my Rebeim. As individual circumstances are often important in determining the psak in specific cases, and as there may be different approaches to some of the issues, one should always check with one’s Rov first.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.