The Library

Reflection for the DayI've heard it said that when God closes a door, a window opens. Since I started working the Twelve Steps, much of the fear and pain that haunted my life is gone. Some of my defects have been lifted from me, though I'm still wrestling with others. I b...

Many sex addicts enter recovery with little or no ability to identify what it is they are feeling. I had one client say that he never used to know what his feelings were, that he used to think hunger was a feeling! In early recovery from sex addiction addicts learn to...

It is not unusual for sex addicts to ask “How did I get this way? I had such an ordinary childhood.” Nobody survives childhood unwounded. And many kinds of stressful or frightening experiences can become sexualized along the way, leading to problems later on. And yet wh...

When I argued that pornography is inherently oppressive at a Cambridge Union debate recently, I honestly didn’t expect my team to win over the audience. I hoped to. But I also knew that those who grow up in today’s pornified world understandably find it hard to see the ha...

If you are a family member of a sex addict or of a recovering sex addict, or if you are dating a sex addict, you may have concerns about whether that person poses a danger to children. If you are separated or divorced from a sex addict you may have concerns about child...

The danger of pornography use isn’t about right and wrong. It’s about the effects that pornography has on the user and the effects it has on the loved ones of the user. Pornography use has serious, negative side effects. Some of pornography's toxic side effects include: ...

Copyright Disclaimer If anyone still had doubts about the addictive dangers of pornography, Anthony Weiner should have put paid to them with his repeated, self-sabotaging sexting. And if anyone still doubted the devastation that porn addiction wreaks on those closest t...

My Name is TC and I Have an Eating Disorder I remember texting my friend from the hospital “do you think you can come pick me up?” My husband, Jon, knew where I was, he was the one who took me to the ER earlier that day, but I didn’t want him to have to come get me, I w...

One of the tools used in sex offender treatment (SOT) is called "victim sensitization," i.e. teaching sex offenders (not addicts, mind you, but actual predators, who not only get triggered but actually violate vulnerable others, including children) about the human side o...

I have heard this story of treatment failure from many couples who come in to see me about sex addiction. One partner was discovered to have sexually addictive behavior(s) such as porn addiction, voyeurism, hook-ups, paying for sex etc. After an initial upheaval the coup...

Porn can't take away the viewer's real life problems, but it can become one of them.

A girl wrote: "I found the root of my addiction - ADHD. I'm a typical, frum, 20-year-old girl from Lakewood. To an outsider I would seem like I have everything going for me: I come from a beautiful family; I am smart, pretty, fun, wealthy, thin, popular... And in a way, i...

It is important that we differentiate between recovery work and “Teshuvah”, otherwise we are implying that addiction is essentially sinning, which is a Pandora's box, of sorts. I insist that addiction and recovery are Derech Eretz issues rather than Torah ones, and tha...

Remember that addiction is incurable, progressive, and fatal.

Many first-timers are amazed by the cordial, relaxed atmosphere of 12-step meetings and the eclectic mix of people in attendance. Firstly, you should know that are two types of "traditional" 12-Step support group meetings: open and closed. Open meetings are for anyone wh...

Torah Perspectives on the Twelve StepsIn this section we will analyze the Twelve Step program of addictions and recovery from a Torah perspective. In recent years the Twelve Step program has become widely accepted both in Israel and in the Jewish world. Our goal is to cla...

I just want to respond to someone who said that he "just can not say no (to lust)." I am a member of Sexaholics Anonymous. What works for me is realizing that I am totally NOT in control and only God can get me out of this. Therefore, whenever I feel "I just can't say no,...