Thursday, 14 July 2016

"Normals" vs. Addicts

Part 2/2 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

by Dov (See all authors)

All this kvetching around got me thinking (uh-oh...), and here is a parable I came up with, be"H:

A normal person who insists he is an addict and tries to act like one, is like a sighted person who chooses to go through the day with his eyes closed. Even if he gets really good help to make it through safely, he will not have the Good Life that was meant for him if he were to be honest, brave, and just use his own eyes. Along the way, he will confuse lots of other people who he thinks he must help see they, too, are addicts. I think it's a very sad thing. Sure, there are things all people can learn from the Program, but much does not apply to normals. And unfortunately, the same guys who are desperate to need the 12 Steps themselves, seem the most desperate to convince others to do the very same, whether they are addicts or not. It's a problem.


Being an addict and not admitting it, is like being blind and insisting one can see just as others can. He will trip over things, fall into open pits, and have a rotten time of things because he does not really allow himself to be guided by others. When he does take advice, he struggles to maintain full control of his recovery by "adjusting" it. He remains the master of his destiny. Along the way, he will make the people closest to him miserable, as well. He insists he is normal and needs no special care. No matter how unpleasant his life gets, he will blame his misery on society's pritzus, the Internet, his wife, his parents, and whoever else he can. Often, he does not even realize he is doing all that.

Everyone needs some sort of help to make it through life. Even our gedolim and tzaddikim do. But most people living the double life are not ready to accept that. They insist on their privacy and on fixing themselves without paying the price to get the real help they need.

May Hashem help us all reach out more openly and sooner than we want for help, each person for the thing he is in need of.