Kosher Sex Conference Call
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1275  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Announcements: Matching Challenge - THANK YOU!
Image of the Day: Don't Try This at Home!
Sayings: If God seems far away, who moved?
Links: 269 callers on Duvid Chaim's call this morning!
Announcements: Help Wanted
12 Step Attitude: 12-Step Workshop With Harvey
Announcements: Nesivos Shalom Conference Call
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Still Clean Had a fall
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Announcements
 
Matching Challenge - THANK YOU!
 

We'd like to thank all the GYE members who helped us raise $5,000 in time to complete the matching challenge of last week.

Thank you and Tizke Lemitzvos!

May the zechus of your donation be a merit to help you in your quest for purity, Midah Kineged Midah.

Image of the Day
 

Funny thing: as an addict, I feel an urge to test this "theory." Normal people would just accept it as fact.

Don't Try This at Home!
 
Don't Try This at Home!
Sayings
 
If God seems far away, who moved?
 
Links
 

Access the recording of the record-breaking call on the subject of Kosher Sex, presented by Rabbi Wolf.

Find out what 269 GYE'ers learned in the live phone conference. 

269 callers on Duvid Chaim's call this morning!
Announcements
 
Help Wanted
 

Dear GYE friends:

We are constantly trying to improve our operation to better serve the Jewish people and need some additional helping hands...

Please be in touch with us (help@gye.org.il) if you can help in a professional capacity with any of the following positions/tasks:

- Advertising campaigns manager

- Fundraiser

- Marketing

- Web-development / programming project manager

- Video productions

- Translations

- Graphic design

- Writers

- Website testers

12 Step Attitude
 

I had the unique opportunity to join a 12-Step workshop with Harvey, one of the founders of SA (Sexaholics Anonymous)... He's sober for 26 years from a raging sex addiction that was completely out of control. Harvey is Jewish and semi-religious (he puts on teffilin every day) but he said that he definitely believes in miracles, because splitting the Yam Suf was "easy pickin" compared to G-d getting him sober :-)

I took some notes from the talks, and I'd like to share some of the wisdom that I heard from him. Here are some of the things he said:

 
12-Step Workshop With Harvey
 
Part 4/5
 
By GYE

I had the unique opportunity to join a 12-Step workshop with Harvey, one of the founders of SA (Sexaholics Anonymous)... He's sober for 26 years from a raging sex addiction that was completely out of control. Harvey is Jewish and semi-religious (he puts on teffilin every day) but he said that he definitely believes in miracles, because splitting the Yam Suf was "easy pickin" compared to G-d getting him sober :-)

I took some notes from the talks, and I'd like to share some of the wisdom that I heard from him. Here are some of the things he said:

Acceptance

We can't accept G-d's power to help us (step 3), until we first accept the power of the group (step 2). In the groups, we see that we can share all the crazy things we did, and people still accept us. That gives us a vision or a glimpse of how G-d, who is so much bigger, can accept me as I am. After all, He made me! He knew what I would do even before I did it!

A Decision

If there are three frogs on a log and two of them decide to jump off, how many are left? Three! Deciding to jump is nothing unless they jump. In step 3 we make "a decision" to give our will and our lives over to the care of G-d. But a decision means nothing without action. So steps 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 are how we do step 3.

Not My Will, But Thy Will Be Done

In step 1 we are powerless. "We admitted we were powerless over lust." But in step 11, we get the power back. As the 11th step states: "We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." We get the power back, but it's His power, not ours. My Will will kill me.

Letting Our Will Go

Through the steps we learn how to let go of our will. Lust is not our real problem. Our character defaults are our real problem. As we work though our resentments, jealousy, dishonesty and greed, we see that our addiction stems from our character defects, (and most of our character defects stem from "Fear").

In step 6 we tell G-d, "Take this sh*t away, I don't want it. I am entirely willing for You to remove these character defects".

Many times we are not really ready yet for G-d to take it away. We say, "G-d, take the masturbation away from me, but don't take the porn". That's like saying, "See the cancer on this arm, G-d? Please take it away. But the cancer on my other arm, I'm not ready for You to take away"...

Making Amends

Step 10 says, "We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, we promptly admitted it." That means doing steps 4 through 8 every day.

When my wife says something hurtful to me, even if she's wrong, I make amends and apologize for having talked to her in that "tone of voice". And when we disagree, even if I'm sure she's wrong I'll tell her, "you might be right". This helps me not to get upset at her.

To be continued...
Announcements
 
 
Nesivos Shalom Conference Call
 
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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