One should relate before ones teacher who instructs him in the way of HaShem, or even before a good friend, all of one's thoughts that are contrary to the Holy Torah that the Yetzer HaRah causes to arise in his mind or heart. [This is the case whether they occur] when he is learning Torah, or praying, sitting in his bed or during the day. And he should not withhold anything because of shame. He will find that by relating these things he will gain the power to break the strength of the Yetzer HaRah so that it will no longer be able to overcome him another time. This is besides the good advice you will receive from your friend, which is the way of HaShem. This is a wonderful remedy.

The Vilna Goan says something that's very important to know, especially for those struggling with powerful desires. He writes that what a person says he wants, and even what he feels he wants, has no relation to what he actually wants. The Yetzer Hara was given permission by Hashem to make a person feel that they want something they really don't.

The Vilna Goan also says that the same idea applies to what a person feels they can or can't do. The reality has no relation to what the person thinks or even feels that he can or can't achieve. [This is because the reality belongs to G-d. Our own estimates of our strengths and abilities don't affect G-d's ability].

So never give in to what the Yetzer Hara makes you believe you want, because you really don't want it. And never say "I can't achieve sexual purity" even if it looks so hard. For nothing is hard for G-d. So give your heart over to him and he'll do the hard work for you.

Last night, I had the privilege of speaking in person with the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Feldman Shlita, for half an hour about GYE matters. In discussing the forum, I used one of the forum members, a dear friend, as an example of someone for whom the forum has been his lifeline. Furthermore, in a letter that I sent to the Rosh Yeshiva this morning, I sent a copy of this person's testimonial. Later, I told this person about all this and he responded:

"Kedusha, I am blown away! I am so overcome with emotion! Wow! Maybe this means it was all Kedai; all the Yeridos and Aliyos."

To which I responded:

"If I can speak for myself: It was all Kedai, my dear friend.

All the pain. All the tears. Having to shake my Rav's hand with a blush on my face, thinking "if only he knew". Having to face my wife and children in the morning, with a painful secret weighing down on me. Attending my child's Siddur play while ridden with guilt. All of this was clearly meant to be, so that I can get closer to Hashem in the process of recovery, and help others in this position as well, b'Ezras Hashem. And, my newly developed relationship with the Rosh Yeshiva - that's a wonderful fringe benefit, which I'm very grateful for. Not to mention my precious friends from the forum."

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.