Jonathan, Certified Life Coach will be joining us on

Duvid Chaim's 12-Step phone conference

12 PM EST - Thursday June 11th.

The theme of the call:

Unwanted Same Sex Attraction - Real or Imagined?

What can be done?

Our GYE In-House Expert with more that 7 years of helping men overcome same-sex attractions (along with a multiple addictions) will share important insights into this often shunned and shameful attraction.

Addressing and answering questions about Homosexuality as:

How does SSA develop?

Isn’t it normal for me to admire and be attracted to another man?

How does this attraction fit into my Sexaholism?

Is there overlap?

And what are the Tools that are used in the Healing Process?

Whether you personally experience SSA or not, please join us on this important Call to learn more about this serious issue!

I was frum before and I'm frum now, but it is clear to me that my relationship with Hashem was not personal and not real to ME, before sobriety. All addicts who recover through AA feel the same way, it seems. So I say, without what you call "the Yetzer Hara" - I call it "our addiction" - I obviously would not have had a true relationship with Hashem. This was because I did not perceive that I needed Him, period. So in this respect, the addiction is our friend. After all, who needs Hashem when they think they are OK?

The single most powerful Emuna/Bitachon tool in my life, came through sobriety. Especially early on. Learning moved me a great deal, but I was not able to put it into practice, particularly when lust was involved. But... actually experiencing Hashem helping little me stay sober in the moment, did the trick. Then slowly, the Torah I had learned began to blossom, and it still is.

At first this was distressing: "why couldn't I learn these things and really believe them like everyone else I know does (I guess)?!" As Guard wrote, I may have known it, but I was not able to live by it!

But after really finding that I was successfully using Hashem's help every day, it dawned on me: "who cares what event brought this awareness into us? What matters is that we definitely get (through recovery) what the tzaddikim were trying to teach us about.

The first key to recovery is “acceptance.” We need to accept that we have a problem and that we need help. Otherwise, we will read through the Guard Your Eyes website and Handbook and say : “they aren’t talking about me.”

We read last week about the Meraglim. The sin of the Meraglim was that they believed "it could not be done". It is so easy to be guilty of the same sin, especially when dealing with the powerful desires of the Yetzer Hara. We must realise that even if someone could think that it's not physically possible for him to break free of his addictions, G-d is not limited to his abilities. Many people who originally thought it was impossible, learned to put their full trust in G-d and give over to him their addiction and desires. Just like a child trusts his father and jumps into his waiting arms--even from a height--without the slightest fear, we need to be able to just "let go" of our desires and trust fully that G-d will take care of us. If we do this, then he will indeed bring us through the desert and into Eretz Yisrael. As it is written: "Zacharti Lach Chesed Ne'urayich - Lech tech acharai Bamidbar..." - "I remember the kindness of your youth (i.e. how you gave over your trust) [when I said to you:] "follow me into the barren desert"...

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.