Learning from Asoro B'Teves
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1792  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: Belated "Fall" message
Editor’s Note: V'yomim eilu yehof'chu - let these days be transformed
Torah: Asoro B'Teves - a good day to learn from
Torah: Asarah B'Teves: Strengthening Our Fortifications
Chizuk: Where do you keep your pain?
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Image of the Day
Belated "Fall" message
Editor’s Note
V'yomim eilu yehof'chu - let these days be transformed

Dear GYE,

have an easy fast Asoro b'Teves. We have a prophecy stating that mournful days on our calendar will transform into days of joy. May it happen now!

A reader and forum participant wrote to us recently, exemplifying this concept of trasforming a negative experience into a positive one:

"Dear GYE admin, 

I struggle with SSA and have been posting on the GYE forum. Recently, I got a private message from a disturbed young man who called me a disgusting f*****. I just wanted to share that I actually found the assault to be inspiring. It reminded me of how I was taunted with the same name as a child and how it used to destroy me. Now, B"H, I can see that even though I still struggle with SSA, I have never acted out with another man sexually, even when approached to do so. B"H, I have managed to get married, have children and grandchildren and am just trying to give HaShem some nachas. So the message allowed me to see my journey of growth and commitment!"

Asoro B'Teves - a good day to learn from
By Mark

Asoro b'Teves is the only fast that even if it happens to fall on Shabbos, we'd have to abstain from the beer and Cholent. That would be a crisis, which the Rabbis saw in their ruach hakodesh would be untenable, so they preset the calendar so that it never falls on a Shabbos.

In what way is asara b'teves different to all others?

On this day we recall the first opening steps which began the destruction of G-d's home on the Temple Mount. The Jewish people were still going strong, but, since it's the beginning, it's the most significant

What's the lesson for us?

The beginning is the most significant.

I found for myself that jumping on the Chart was the challenge, and plenty good came from there. I have other struggles which I need to begin small steps to, be'H.

Asarah B'Teves: Strengthening Our Fortifications
Where do you keep your pain?
By Once-innocent

An ageing master grew tired of his apprentice’s complaints. One morning, he sent him to get some salt. When the apprentice returned, the master told him to mix a handful of salt in a glass of water and then drink it.

“How does it taste?” the master asked.

“Bitter,” said the apprentice.

The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the master asked, “How does it taste?”

"Fresh,” remarked the apprentice.

“Do you taste the salt?” asked the master.

“No,” said the young man. At this the master sat beside this serious young man, and explained softly,

“The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”

Recovery will be painful at times. In fact, life will be painful at times. It's a simple fact of living on this planet. And I can't control life...or the pain it brings. But if I teach myself to look at the pain in a bigger context, it will be less bitter.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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