A man was visiting in Paris and went to a kosher restaurant in the Jewish Quarter, known as the Pletzel. The prices were high, but there was a sign on the wall that stated, “Today you pay, tomorrow, free of charge.” The man figured that it was a good deal, so he ate, paid and left. The next day, he also came and ate. When the waiter came with the bill, he protested. “But it says that tomorrow is free, and I was here yesterday and paid!” “Yes, the waiter said, but every day is ‘today’!”

This is how a person must conduct himself with his yetzer hara. If he can’t destroy it completely, he should keep putting it off. You want me to be idle? Sure, tomorrow. Just let me learn today. This is how a person should behave every day of his life, and he will be saved from the yetzer. Our biggest problems come when we rush to surrender to it!

Bitul (self-nullification). Learn to think "Who am I to want anything? We are not here for pleasure. I am doing the work of the king every time I say "No". What more can a Jew want in this world?

Along these lines of Bitul, R' Nachman offers a powerful suggestion. Whenever you are feeling weak and about to break, go into a room alone. Close your eyes, lie on the floor and put yourself in a place of total Bitul (self annulment). Repeat over and over again "I am nothing", "I am nothing".

As soon as you get a bit too cocky and think "Hey, I'm doing it!", Hashem gives you a fatherly pat on the back with a serious nisayon and says, "Chill". That's what happened to me today... I was doing great with the few errands I had to run, in a semi crowded Israeli mall, keeping my head down and looking away immediately upon inappropriateness... I was thinking, "Yetzer Hara, bow down to your king." Then, for reasons I cannot elaborate on, I was forced to go to the airport and surprise an arriving friend. Surprising at the airport means waiting at the arrival hall and watching every single person that comes out of customs. I was doing well for a while... keeping my eyes in check. But after 45 minutes of this... my eyes became a bit "loose". I looked twice at a few women. Very upsetting. I basically ate treif a few times while I was casually waiting at the airport! But sometimes, says R' Tzadok, Hashem gives a person a nisayon that he cannot handle just to see how he recovers. Does he get depressed when he falls, staying on the ground and thinking "this is impossible"? Or does he jump right back onto the horse? Baruch Hashem, He has given me the strength to continue with this struggle right where I left off.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.