PLEASE JOIN US FOR 

THE LAUNCH of - THE "LIFE CHANGING" VOYAGE OF THE GYE18 - CRUISE TO FREEDOM.

Launching on Monday, May 1, 2017

Join the Conference Call

at 12 Noon with Duvid Chaim and Co-Captain Yakov New

Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays!

(times are EST)

The Conference Call In Number is (641) 715-3836

Participant Access Code 637207#

For a whole bunch of useful details about the Conference Calls, please see this link:

https://guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/big-book-study-group

I'm currently on a bus, sitting behind a guy. For a few seconds that I subconsciously looked at the reflection of the of phone screen of the person sitting in front of me, I saw a scene of tumah. I tried to push it away - unsuccessfully - so HaShem directed me to the GYE email. I read Bardichev's post and I realized I'M NOT THERE ANYMORE. I'm better than that. I moved houses! So when the Yetzer Hara comes knocking, I can tell him, "who, me??" Nah. You got the wrong address.

Thank you very much!

Dear GYE,

I am the vice president of a new organization called Refuat HaNefesh. This organization is dedicated to raising awareness about mental health concerns within the Orthodox community as well as providing on-line support and educational resources to people who suffer from mental illness and their families.

Your organization has led the way in alleviating the suffering of thousands of Jews who struggle with addiction, and I think both our organizations and countless individuals may benefit from our collaboration. Here are some ways we can be of assistance to people suffering from sex addiction

1) Sex addiction holds many similarities with other types of addiction, which are classified as mental illness and very much have a home on Refuathanefesh.com. We have many educational resources that shed light on addiction as well as divrei torah that may be of relevance to addicts. Further, we have an on-line forum in which people with various mental illnesses (addiction included) can seek support from each other.

2) Sex addiction (like any addiction) is highly comorbid with other psychiatric illnesses such as depression. I imagine many people who benefit from GYE would similarly find support on our site.

3) Lastly, while we are only a website at this time, our community of volunteers is quickly growing and we intend to expand our mental health services to the orthodox community, including public speaking engagements and the opportunity for privacy-protected, confidential tele therapy. I would love for your community to be aware of these services as they become available.

Thanks,

Aryeh L. Goldberg MD MA

I believe that the main reason we cannot find one eitza that works is because an eitza is always, that means without exception, nothing more than a gimmick. Gimmicks are tricks that are used in order to bypass real change. They may prevent the behavior, but consider this: Removing the bad behavior is actually our problem, not our solution. Sobriety is actually our biggest problem - tolerating real life (which is how G-d expresses His Will for us day by day) is the great problem we have, and our sexual acting out is our temporary solution to our actual problem that is really just Hashem's Will. This is quite the opposite of standard GYE-encouraged perspective which assumes that we ('of course') prefer Hashem's Will, and that our problems are our strong tayvoh and the resultant sinning behavior that gets in our way. Gevalt, nothing could be further from the truth. The chiddush of GYE really needs to be that here we see totally frum and dedicated yidden, learning and teaching Torah (and getting very emotional about it cuz it's important to them) who nevertheless far prefer sex and erotic stimulation and treasure it even at the cost of risking our marriages, our olam habo's and our integrity. Shockingly, we, each in his and her own way, have all twisted and distorted certain aspects of avodas Hashem to allow these two extremes to coexist for all the years that we have been struggling with acting out our lust fantasies. Every GYE member who has been struggling with this for years and decades has proven that they have somehow figured out how to live with the contradiction - how to do both. And as long as we excuse this by calling it "the powerful Yetzer Hora", we deny the truth about our own hearts and reality: we love this stuff, we love the struggle-with-it-that-we-know-is-futile, and we do not really want it to end.

So we keep struggling with it because we still want to.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.