A favorite saying in sports is, "It isn't losing to get knocked down. Losing is staying down."

In life, as in sports, that idea makes great sense. Like "Let go and let God," or "Let it begin with me," it is a saying that reminds us of an important underlying principle. In this case the principle is that battles aren't wars, but rather a series of campaigns.

No one wins every time out, or can expect to. And some battles aren't worth fighting anyway.

Fighting a battle isn't hell – our unrealistic expectations are. When we strike out against some old attitude or behavior, we have to realize we're in for the long haul.

When the enemy is some aspect of ourselves, we are up against a formidable opponent that won't give up easily. We have to expect that there will be many battles – and not a few defeats. The winner is the one who perseveres longest.

Only continued effort wins the war; we can't lose if we don't quit.

Today, I pray for persistence in the face of many defeats. I ask my Higher Power for the courage to keep at it.

על כבוד ידידי היקר, ידיד כל חי, אהוב וחביב לכל מכיריו וידידיו משים לילות כימים לעזור לזולתו ר׳ דוב שליט״א אחדשה״ט, הננו בזה בקוצר אמרים על כבודך אני מדבר, ישקני מנשיקות פיהו כי טובים דוב מיין, וקול דוב הנה זה בא, וענה דוב ואמר לי קומי לך, לכן דוב לי ואני לו, וענתה לך את השירה זאת :

Just one year ago I embarked on a life altering journey,
Which I hoped and prayed would lead me to sobriety.

In you, I found a caring heart, and a mind that really understood me,
So thereafter my steps journey no longer seemed so long and lonely.

In the darkness of my addiction, you shone like a beacon of light,
Helping me accept the things I can't change, to get it all done right.

Your 12 steps recordings filled with humility geared me to an honest direction,
When I couldn't get enough, I looked forward to your Q&A calls with anticipation.

When I was confused and had concerns, in you I found a listening ear,
Your dedication, wisdom, and wit helped put an end to my fear.

Your vast knowledge and own experience is something I truly admire,
Getting out of oblivion and living one day at a time I now aspire.

You taught me the road of recovery is not about perfection,
Rather taking baby steps and making a connection in the right direction.

You have been blessed with syatte dshmaye to help fellow Yidden - brethren in despair,
To all those part of Dov’s desperados your humble or valuable, inspirational or insightful guidance you do share.

You're always encouraging everyone by saying that nothing is beyond repair,
The only thing Hashem wants from us, be more sincere!

As long as I will work the 12 steps and surrender to Hashem I won't be shameful,
Getting to know my closeness with Him is for what I am so grateful.

May Hashem grant you many more happy and successful years,
And may He give you koach to continue guiding people which I know to you is very dear.

Your dear chaver

The Rambam that says that a Mikva doesn't make us pure while we immerse ourselves, but rather when we come out of it, we are purified.

I think if we flip that idea over, what is metamei us?

Not masturbating itself, but it's what we do afterwards that's really metamei us.

Once we did the aveira, it's already done. Now what?

If we pick ourselves right up, the aveira will hopefully not metamei us nearly as much.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.