One of the girls on GYE's women's side of the mechitza suffered terrible sexual and emotional abuse as a child and was advised to leave home by Rabbanim and therapists when she got older. She is now living alone and struggling to pay for therapy and to get by. She recently wrote me the following:

One should relate before ones teacher who instructs him in the way of HaShem, or even before a good friend, all of one's thoughts that are contrary to the Holy Torah that the Yetzer HaRah causes to arise in his mind or heart. [This is the case whether they occur] when he is learning Torah, or praying, sitting in his bed or during the day. And he should not withhold anything because of shame. He will find that by relating these things he will gain the power to break the strength of the Yetzer HaRah so that it will no longer be able to overcome him another time. This is besides the good advice you will receive from your friend, which is the way of HaShem. This is a wonderful remedy.

Are you asking yourself any of the following questions:

I'm sick and tired of feeling TRAPPED IN LUST. I've stopped before - had some sobriety - but always seem to fall back into it again and again. What can I do to finally STOP?!

or

I've been working on my LUST - I've been on the Guard Your Eyes Forum - I've seen a therapist - I've gone to SA Meetings - I've been on the GYE Conference Calls. Why isn't this ENOUGH?!

or

I've already worked the 12 Step Program. I think I know what it's supposed to do for me. But it doesn't work! This is so frustrating. This Program will never work for me! Is there any hope for me?!

ANNOUNCING:

PLEASE JOIN US FOR

THE LAUNCH of - THE "LIFE CHANGING" VOYAGE OF THE GYE18 - CRUISE TO FREEDOM.

Launching on Monday, May 1, 2017

Join the following Conference Calls

8:30am

12 Noon with Duvid Chaim and Co-Captain Yakov New

9:30 pm

Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays!

(all times are EST)

The Conference Call In Number is (641) 715-3836

Participant Access Code 637207#

For a whole bunch of useful details about the Conference Calls, please see this link:

https://guardyoureyes.com/component/zoo/item/big-book-study-group

We are going to strive to make this Cruise - Bigger and Better than ever -

with more Veterans,

more Chavrusahs,

more Sponsors and

more Guest Speakers.

We will be enriching our Recovery Program with the latest and most effective

Exercises and Life Changing Processes available.

Please JOIN us and bring your AA "Big Book"

your Private Journal to take notes

Please send an email to duvidchaim@gmail.com

to let us know you are planning to be ON BOARD and to request the following word docs needed for your participation:

Newcomer Welcome Statement

The AA Big Book

The SA White Book

DON'T DESPAIR!!!

"This may be the most important decision of your life!”

The Holy Sefer, Noam Elimelech from Rav Elimelech of Lizensk writes that Yaakov Avinu's attribute was that of Tiferes, meaning "Awesome Beauty". This implies that Yaakov Avinu had the ability to be awestruck by G-dly beauty in all he saw. For example, the Noam Elimelech continues, "When a person eats a tasty food, he should say to himself, "if this food is so good in taste, is it not obvious that all the good and pleasantness is to be found in the Creator--may his name be blessed--without any limit or boundary!"..."and this is the secret of the Pasuk "and Yaakov kissed Rachel".

How uplifting and beautiful it is to try to apply this midah of Yaakov Avinu to ourselves. Whenever we see something that turns our hearts to sexual desire, we need to tell ourselves, "If this woman is so beautiful and I desire her so much, how much more beautiful it must be to connect with G-d, who is the infinite source of all beauty, pleasantness and pleasure!"

Zissy's Big Book Study Group For Struggling Women

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and G-d appeared. Hashem told the man He had work for him to do and showed him a large rock in the path in front of his cabin.

The number one guideline for using technology today is filters. There is no heter to have any device without a very good filter which blocks all מראות אסורות and anything that a person shouldn’t see. This applies no matter the age, and no matter what kind of device it is (computer or phone). And it should be a good filter that was made with frum yidden in mind (examples: Gentech, Netspark, NativUSA) and not a filter made by goyim that isn’t worth much.

The michshol of having open internet is so big that it’s embarrassing that we even need to mention the importance of filters. But this inyan needs constant chizuk for two reasons:

1) It’s easy not to find the time to “get around to it” or we just upgraded our device and didn’t put it back on yet (and then we forget to). Some people say they are sure they won’t be nichshal, so they push off putting on a filter.

2) No filters are perfect and have everything we want open, open, and everything we want closed, closed. Filters can be bothersome and are never foolproof (although they are getting better all the time). So yes, it may be a bother, it may cost money, and they won’t be perfect. But consider the hefsed against the s'char. Filters are a fence against שאול תחתית ממש!

Practical help with filters.

1) TAG (Technology Awareness Group)

This organization assists people with filters in their offices around the world. TAG’s Main Hotline: 718-CALL-TAG (718-225-5824). You can also visit: venishmartem.com for a list of all TAG offices around the world.

2) venishmartem.com

This website is an excellent resource for filtering advice: They have a “Filter-Wizard” on their homepage that makes it easy to find the best solutions for any device. Venishmartem also lists information on all TAG offices around the world. It is preferable to go to a TAG office rather than relying on Venishmartem for advice, so they can help you setup the filter to suit your precise needs, and also hold the passwords or control the account for you if necessary.

3) Filtering Help in Eretz Yisrael:

a) היעוץ המקצועי שעל ידי ועידת הרבנים לביצור חומת הדת - Technology Advice Hotline: A country-wide hotline which specializes in finding filtering solutions in Israel. Tel: 1599-550-330 (Press 8 for English)

b) OutNet: A country-wide organization with trained technicians to help you block or limit internet access, free of charge. Call their hotline 0722-613-613 and choose the options relevant to you, or visit www.out-net.org. This will lead you a technician in your area that will assist you. If the technician does not answer, you can leave him a message and he will get back to you.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.