Let Go of the Old Ideas
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1251  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day: What is the opposite of addiction?
12 Step Attitude: Letting Go is Hard
Torah: The Right Attitude for Kabalas Hatorah
Daily Dose of Dov: Tips from the Warriors on Guarding the Eyes
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Image of the Day
What is the opposite of addiction?
What is the opposite of addiction?
12 Step Attitude
Letting Go is Hard
By Jack

This had happened a while ago in Manhattan:

Do you know that doors of a subway train do not open unless the conductor in the middle car presses the button? They do NOT act like an elevator's doors - if you stick your hand in an elevator while the doors are closing, there is an electric eye that detects your hand and the doors open.

It happened once that a woman on the subway platform got her handbag stuck in the doors of a train as it was pulling out. She didn't let go. The train was moving, and she was running alongside with her hand wrapped firmly on the strap of her handbag. The train was speeding up and she rammed her head into a metal column holding up the underground train station.

And then she died. How sad!

Let's say she was holding the winning lottery ticket that paid a lump sum in the millions. Was it still worth it? All she had to do was let go - and she would be alive today. But letting go is SOOO hard - don't I know it!

To an addict, this story probably would not even make a dent in their determination to keep drugging.

But can't we learn at least a LITTLE from this tragic story?!

The Right Attitude for Kabalas Hatorah
Part 1/2

In every generation we receive the Torah anew through the Tzadikim of all the generations. Someone sent us an e-mail recently:

Read more
Daily Dose of Dov
Tips from the Warriors on Guarding the Eyes
Part 2/2
By Ahron

"London" Writes:

My Dear Brother Ahron,

Thanks for reminding me what I need to do. My problem is, that although I have been around the SA fellowships for a few years and have heard most of the answers, I need to come to this forum and hear other people share and be reminded on a daily basis what I need to do. To answer your question Ahron, I was told by non-frum yid when I first came into recovery, that just as when I wake up in the morning I wash negel vaser and say modeh ani, or when I eat I make a Brocho; I do these things without thinking, they are second nature. Well in recovery, I am like a Ger or Baal Teshuvah (which I am), so I have to practice these techniques and keep on practicing them. There will be times when I get frustrated or when my heart is not in it, but if I keep on doing them, they will become second nature and I will not have to think about it.

I have trained myself over the years to notice triggers. I have a finely attuned lust radar in my head. It is going to take a lot of hard work to switch it off. I find that if the trigger is really bad, I will need to pick up the phone to a member of SA. When I first joined SA, if I got triggered on the street my sponsor would tell me to pick up 10 pieces of garbage off the street, and I did it. We must be willing to go to any lengths. So if all else fails, start collecting garbage!

I find that I if I am significantly triggered by a woman / fantasy, I actually have to phone someone and tell him in detail what's going on in my head. "Lust glows in the dark but dies in the light of exposure".

Once again, thanks for reminding me of the tools I need to stay clean.



Related to this subject, "Pintale Yid" once posted on the forum how he deals with the struggle of Shmiras Ainayim:

1. I say a short Tefila before I leave the house that Hashem should help me with Shmiras Aynayim.

2. I am lucky to need glasses so I remove them when I am walking in the street.

3. I try to keep my eyes down, and when I see a female approaching I close both eyes - or at least the eye that is closest to her - until she passes (provided that I am not in the gutter). I found that I have no problem waking several steps with my eyes closed.

4. I learned in a wonderful sefer called Bakodesh Chazisicha by Rav Shaul Vidger, that says that even if you are trying to guard your eyes, the Satan deliberately pulls your eyes to where they shouldn't be. I therefore laugh it off and tell myself, "he's doing it again!".

5. I give myself chizuk after every time I pass a women without looking at her.

6. While I am walking in the street I am quietly talking to Hashem (it is not noticeable to others). You can understand how it is much harder to sin against Hashem if you are in the middle of talking to him. If you have problems talking to Hashem, I recommend that you learn the sefer Bi'sdai Hayar by Rav Sholom Arush on Tefila and Hisbodidus. (He also has an awesome sefer called B'Gan Hasholom on Shalom Bayis which I recommend to everyone).

7. The last thing is, that even if I fall I never get depressed since I know that this is a constant battle against the Yetzer Hara, and it is one of the reasons for my existence on this world. I once learned in the Tanya, that one who gets depressed because he can never eradicate his taivos is a Baal Gaiveh (haughty) because he thinks he is on the level of a Tzaddik. I also remember that my overall batting average is pretty good -- at least much better than it used to be.

Hashem should help you and all of us in this battle! Hashem gave us this web site as a Rocket Propelled Grenade to help us blow away the Samach Mem :-)

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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