Dear Friends at Guardureyes,

Given the work you are doing in helping people with pornography problems, we thought you would like to know about our new recovery book:

THE PORN TRAP:
THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO OVERCOMING PROBLEMS CAUSED BY PORNOGRAPHY (Collins/HarperCollins, hardcover, 2008).

We wrote this book to fill the need for a comprehensive resource for people who are struggling with personal and relationship issues related to pornography, and it discusses numerous strategies for "Getting Motivated to Quit Porn." While "THE PORN TRAP" is written primarily for a secular audience (we are Jewish), it validates the importance of faith-based support and recovery help, and it can be used as an adjunct to the 12-step programs or faith-based programs. We see group work and these kinds of programs as extremely beneficial, because they help people come out of social isolation and learn skills for being honest, real, accountable, and to be able to learn from others.

You can also ask the people who read you daily email to send in questions for me. I would be willing to answer some of them that you choose.

Here is a short article on "Facing Your Fears" for your daily newsletter, adapted from a chapter in our book.

Identifying and Facing Your Fears

Fear is a common emotion that arises when someone tries to quit porn. When left unaddressed, it can sabotage your recovery efforts by increasing ambivalence and continually undermining your motivation. Like a nail you are unaware of in one of your car's tires, an unidentified and unaddressed fear can slow your healing journey down without your even realizing what is happening.

The idea of making any kind of major life change and facing the unknown is often initially frightening, even when we are fairly certain that the change will improve our lives. Quitting means letting go of a product that brought instant pleasure and stress relief, and it involves making significant lifestyle changes, such as saying good-bye to well-established sexual habits, finding new ways to cope with emotional stresses, and learning how to relate to others more openly and honestly.

When you get to Penn Station in NYC, sometimes, when there are a lot of trains, they will put an Amtrack train on the track right over from a LIRR train. They share the same platform. You get on the platform and the two trains are standing a few feet from each other. The people on each train see each other and they can wave and smile at each other. It is so easy to jump from one to the next. All it takes is a 5 second hop across the platform. Track 13 to track 14. So easy.

But then the trains begin to leave Penn Station. One is headed east to Ronkonkoma. The other? South, to Virginia. In 10 minutes they will be hundreds of miles apart. In a half hour? You'll have to take a plane to get from one to the next. If you get on the wrong train in Penn Station, all it takes is 20 minutes and you're in some serious trouble.

Don't get on the wrong train. Please.

You're standing at the dawn of adulthood. Soon enough (despite your disbelief), your life will be kickin-it in full gear. It is NOW that you need to make sure to get on the right train. Because if you don't tackle the addiction now, you will wrestle with it until you do. And it will bring you to the darkest deepest caves of hell. And to untangle the mess later will be much harder.

So let's go! Don't fall today. That's all. Just today.
Please.

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.