The secret group among us
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1536  
In Today's Issue
Image of the Day
Announcements: The Shmuz and GYE - a collaborative effort
Sayings: Squeezing the best out of you
Announcements: Motivational Mondays
Links: The Secret Group Among Us
Daily Dose of Dov: Should I Tell My Parents?
90 Day Journey
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Image of the Day
The Shmuz and GYE - a collaborative effort

Rabbi Shafier from began an initiative with Guard Your Eyes to put the full 13 part Fight Series called The Fight onto CDs in MP3 format.

Guard Your Eyes and The Shmuz have collaborated to print thousands of copies of the CD's and our objective is to distribute it wisely for free. In the past, we've put cds in various places such as shuls, pizza stores, grocery stores where people can take them. We would like to do the same with this cd.

If you have a little bit of time and would like to help, please contact Rabbi Shafier at or Mrs. Coleman at and we'll gladly send you out the cds with a holder and then you can put it wherever you feel is appropriate. This is a very easy way of making a huge difference!

Fruits are squeezed to get juice. Flowers are crushed to get fragrance. Diamonds are extracted to make jewels. So if you are being pushed in life - Fear Not!!! It's Hashem, trying to get the Best out of you.
Motivational Mondays

Reminding you to join Duvid Chaim at noon on Monday for a dose of wildly motivating video conference.

The Secret Group Among Us
Daily Dose of Dov
Should I Tell My Parents?
By Dov

No, you certainly do not have to tell your parents.

I do believe, however, that your making a huge deal about rejection and shame if you would tell the parents is just not accurate. If your parents love you and are not very screwed up in the head, they will sympathize. Even if they are dissapointed, any half-normal parent will be concerned and try to help their child in any way possible. That is not rejection, not disowning, and not a shame. It is normal parent-child relations. And though it may be hard for you to imagine what it is like to have kids, I'd ask you to decide what you would like: if your son had a masturbation and porn problem, would you want the boy to open up to you, or to run in fear of shame and horror and, instead, keep it a secret and 'keep fighting'? Again - not a reason to tell! - but just something to think about.

Furthemore, a father (or mother) who has a porn, masturbation, or sex problem will often only open up about their own garbage as a result of their child opening up about it! I have seen this happen.

The only point I always share is this: opening up to safe understanding people is key in making any real change, at all. Somebody! Hiding it from parents is really just a way to hide it from everyone - and opening up about it here while hiding behind a username, is not really opening up enough. The fact that 'to tell or not to tell?' is such a big deal, demonstrates the need to tell somebody - and 'telling' on this virtual forum is just 'virtual telling...' That is what my heart tells me here. Sorry if I am way off... again.

Hey. Fake change we all have plenty experience with, right? I know I do! Maybe you feel the need for real change, and instinctively know that it will only, only come from real connections. The porn is all about fake connections - fantasy connections. Gevalt. This is so key to me in my own recovery. So I share it here and everywhere.

Hiding and lying is key in keeping on doing everything we have always been doing, and got us in this mess in the first place.

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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