Breaking the Habit and Why You Can't Do It.
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1391  
In Today's Issue
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Editor’s Note
Announcements: Recorded: Should I tell my spouse?
Practical Tips: The Science of Habit Change
Sayings: Acting out
Text: 5 Reasons You’ll Never Get Sober (And Remain Miserable)
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Join Duvid Chaim's call (see ad below) to make sense out of this maze.

Editor’s Note

Dear GYE family,

in this issue we continue bringing you the series on the Science of Habit change. Whether you identify your strugles as addiction or as lack of moral fiber or as failure in Yiras Shomayim, bottom line remains the same: you are trying to break a habit and this article is a must-read for you.

Also below, two phone confrence announcements. Whether you're attracted to same or opposite sex, you can find help from shame and remorse by participating in these wonderful group calls. 

Last but not least, if you have trouble getting sober - whether from lustful behavior or drugs and alcohol - a very sobering article addressing your resistances is linked below. If you have trouble accessing the full text online, email me  and I will send you a copy.

Have a great week and stay sober, my friends,


Recorded: Should I tell my spouse?

The Guard Your Eyes' leader of the conference calls for the wives of the addicts, had joined us on

Duvid Chaim's 12-Step phone conference

on Wednesday DECEMBER 23rd.

The call had over 100 attendies and was a great success.

Miriam is Duvid Chaim’s wife and has more than 10 years experience in the S-Anon and CODA Programs, plus advanced training and education through the International Coach Academy with a focus on helping couples and individuals getting back to basics in their relationships and living life rather than just surviving life.

To listen to the recording of this amazing call on your computer, click here.

To download the MP3 file, right click the link above and press "Save Link As" - and save it to your desktop.

To listen to the recording by phone:

From U.S. (641) 715-3813

From Israel: 076-599-0069

From UK: 0330 606 0519

PIN: 637207#

Reference #123


Practical Tips
The Science of Habit Change
Part 5/14
By the.guard

Click here to listen and/or download this article as a professionally recorded AUDIO BOOK (45 minutes).

One particularly dramatic demonstration of how alcoholics' cues and rewards can be transferred to new routines occurred in 2007 when Mueller, the German neurologist, and his colleagues at the University of Magdeburg implanted small electrical devices inside the brains of five alcoholics who had repeatedly tried to give up booze. The alcoholics in the study had each spent at least six months in rehab without success. One of them had been through detox more than sixty times.

The devices implanted in the men's heads were positioned inside their basal ganglia - the same part of the brain where the MIT researchers found the habit loop - and emitted an electrical charge that interrupted the neurological reward that triggers habitual cravings. After the men recovered from the operations, they were exposed to cues that had once triggered alcoholic urges, such as photos of beer or trips to a bar. Normally, it would have been impossible for them to resist a drink. But the devices inside their brains “overrode” each man's neurological cravings. They didn’t touch a drop.

"One of them told me the craving disappeared as soon as we turned the electricity on," Mueller said. “Then we turned it off and the craving came back immediately."

Eradicating the alcoholics' neurological cravings, however, wasn’t enough to stop their drinking habits. Four of them relapsed soon after the surgery, usually after a stressful event. They picked up a bottle because that's how they automatically dealt with anxiety. However, once they learned alternate routines for dealing with stress, the drinking stopped for good. One patient, for instance, attended AA meetings. Others went to therapy. And once they incorporated those new routines for coping with stress and anxiety into their lives, the successes were dramatic. The man who had gone to detox sixty times never had another drink. Two other patients had started drinking at twelve, were alcoholics by eighteen, drank every day, and now have been sober for four years.

Notice how closely this study hews to the Golden Rule of habit change: Even when alcoholics' brains were changed through surgery, it wasn’t enough. The old cues and cravings for rewards were still there, waiting to pounce. The alcoholics only permanently changed once they learned new routines that drew on the old triggers and provided a familiar relief. "Some brains are so addicted to alcohol that only surgery can stop it," said Mueller. "But those people also need new ways for dealing with life."

AA provides a similar, though less invasive, system for inserting new routines into old habit loops. As scientists have begun understanding how AA works, they've started applying the program’s methods to other habits, such as two-year-olds' tantrums, sex addiction, and even minor behavioral tics. As AA's methods have spread, they’ve been refined into therapies that can be used to disrupt almost any pattern.

To be continued...
Acting-out only quiets the cravings for a short while, but it never gives us what we're really looking for.
5 Reasons You’ll Never Get Sober (And Remain Miserable)
By Tim Stoddard

Getting sober is hard.

Read more
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit (Hebrew: / Yiddish:

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit

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