Dov's 12-Step Desperados call is restarting a new cycle be"h on Oct 11, the Sunday after Sukkos.

Look what comes out of not guarding one's eyes! The Gemara (in Sotah 47a) writes that while traveling with Rabbi Yehoshua ben Prachia, Jesus of Nazareth complained that the innkeeper's eyes weren't pretty. Rabbi Yehoshua pushed him away with both hands for his preoccupation with looking at women. Having been kicked out of the group of Torah students, Jesus went on to rebel against the sages and eventually established Christianity. So never say "So what!".

People wrote on Arutz Sheva "Talk-Back" about the importance of internet filters...

I feel Freed...from Carmel

We downloaded a filter (I asked my wife to do it for me so I wouldn't know the code) and now for the first time in ages, I can sit down at the computer without the nagging temptation. I recommend it for everyone.

Menachem from LA writes....

Thank you for the information. My wife brought my attention to this article and said we should do something about it with our boys getting older (14 and 12). Of course, she is right, since I myself am not immune to the temptation. Who possibly could be since it is only a click away? While a parent cannot always control what goes on outside of his house (especially in a town like LA), to everyone who values Judaism, it is our job to guard the sanctity of the Jewish home.

Yisrael from Bet El...

Immodesty was the root of the sexual transgression that destroyed the First Temple. The Gemara describes how the Jewish women would prance around immodestly in the streets of Jerusalem to tempt the men, and everyone knows what that leads to. (Yoma 9B). People don't have to throw away their computers, but if parents don't install filters they are transgression the Torah prohibition, "Don't put a stumbling block in front of a blind man."

My friend, I assume you are taking actions to put the steps into practice in some way in your daily life. You wrote that "something's gotta change". For some folks (like me), I believe it's this:

Are these steps just ideas that you accept in your heart?
Or...
Are they actions that you actually take in order to make them real?

Take Lust, for example. We all eventually needed some kind of action/behavior to fulfill our lust... Fantasy was never really enough for us in the end, right?... Given that simple fact, why did we all - to a man - expect to get all better just by wanting to (really badly)? "Not acting out" isn't an action at all, so why should it do anything positive to change us?

If really, really accepting Hashem's Mitzvos in our hearts was "enough" to Hashem, then Avraham would not have actually had to schlep Yitchok up that mountain and reach for the knife, right? After all, Hashem knew he'd do it anyway. And our religion would look a lot more like Christianity, where resting on the Sabbath is a profound idea, Love and "service of their g-d concept" is a sincere feeling, and where keeping kosher, sukkah and circumcision are not actually necessary.

That is not our way.

Sure, "recovery is an inside job", as they say. But "this is a program of action", where simple spiritual principles are made accessible even to absolute idiots - because they are put into simple action. And anyone can do actions! That's why it can work for anyone, even for thick-headed lust-drunks like me, b"H.

By the same token, length of sobriety is not really "proof" of anything. I'd say that the closest thing to "proof" that a person has really accepted these ideas fully in their hearts, is that they are grateful for sobriety today. And the only way to get there is by working the steps. ("... Here are the steps we took:", AA ch 5.)

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.