What you want to know about depression and coping
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1318  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day: What's your coping strategy?
Personal Stories: Lost my Internet for the night
Links: Are you depressed?
Links: Depression in the Orthodox Community
12 Step Attitude: The "Action" Committee
Daily Dose of Dov: The Powerlessness of an Addict
 
 
90 Day Journey
 
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Still Clean Had a fall
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Image of the Day
 
What's your coping strategy?
 
What's your coping strategy?
Personal Stories
 
Lost my Internet for the night
 
By Lev Basar

I am doing pretty well and got to see first hand some of the hashgacha pratis that I have read about on this site. It happened two days ago. I was pretty low and it was late and I found myself typing out an all-too familiar web address. I told myself that I didn't really want to, and it is true that I didn't feel nearly as much excitement or as willing as I used to, but I was acting out of habit more than real desire. Anyway, I was just about to click on the link to enter the site and the screen disappeared - and I lost all internet for the rest of the night.

Read more
Links
 

Take this test. Addiction and depression often go hand in hand. Help is available!

Are you depressed?

Please note that this link will take you to a site outside of GYE network. While we vetted the site and found it to contain no objectionable imagery, view discretion is still advised.

Links
 

An interview with Rabbi Helfgot.

Depression in the Orthodox Community
12 Step Attitude
 
The "Action" Committee
 
Miribn posted once on the forum:
 
By Miribn

My Yetzer Hara is telling me that the only reason I am abstinent is because I am busy, but I know that this is not true at all. This addiction took a hold of me no matter what was happening around me. Rather, I know that I am abstinent today because Hashem is keeping me abstinent. I work the 12 steps, I daven daily to Hashem for my abstinence, and I share on this forum. That is my part, my work. So basically, I am the "action" committee and Hashem is in the "results" committee. I need to do my part (share, 12 steps, daven) and Hashem is doing the rest.

 

This beautiful post from Miri conveys one of the deepest Yesodos that we all need to internalize. The "results" are not our business, they are entirely our of our hands. Our past failures were from Hashem and we should never let ourselves dwell on them, rather get up and keep doing our part. And if we are succeeding today, it is ALSO because of Hashem - not US, so we need to stay humble and continue doing our part.

At all times, we need to be the "action" committee and leave all the "worrying" about the results for Hashem to deal with.

Daily Dose of Dov
 
The Powerlessness of an Addict
 
Part 4/6
 
By Dov


Dear Yidden! It's clear that the approach for "addicts" can not be the same as the standard approach for regular Yidden. We are ill and need to take the medicine. And the medicine that has been proven to work for millions of people around the world is the 12-Steps. Dov talks about "biting the bullet and getting the help we need". But GuardYourEyes has made "biting the bullet" a lot easier for frum addicts than it ever has been before! Instead of joining live 12-Step groups, mixing with other genders and other religions, being worried about anonymity issues, etc.. you can now join 12-Step groups with other frum yidden from the comfort of your home, with full anonymity - BY PHONE! Please see this page for information on how to join Duvid Chaim or Boruch's 12-Step phone conference groups.

 

Let me share with you a letter that Duvid Chaim just sent out to his group. From this letter you can get a taste of what the groups are like. (And BTW, it's never to late to join!)

Dear Chevra,

Do you know the feeling of what it's like when you're on a long road trip and you pass the halfway mark? And you know that what might have begun as a strenuous journey, you now see as a journey with the destination on the horizon. Well that's how I feel right now!

After going through 6 weeks and carefully reading up to page 57 in the Big Book, I am truly inspired by your growth and commitment to finding recovery from the addiction. I am also very flattered to hear the comments from the Group for what you've "learned" from me. But the truth is that I believe that I have learned more from you.

I have come to appreciate how each and every one of you is like a diamond - each with it's own unique beauty and multi-faceted. I am blessed in every call to get to know you in some new way.

Now that we are in Chapter 5 - "How It Works" - we are changing gears. While in previous chapters, we focused on the lust addiction and how we are completely powerless over it, now we are going to be spending less time talking about the lust and much more time talking about the underlying causes of our addictions. Up to now, we have been focusing on - and dwelling on - Step One, you will see that now we are going to relatively quickly be learning about and practicing the remaining 11 Steps.

So please remember to practice the "A-B-Ds" of the Program - A dmit - B elieve - D ecide. (Steps 1, 2 & 3). Yet, as we discussed today, the Action Steps begin NOW with Step 4; "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

Please download the following Worksheet. This Worksheet will be the 12 Step Program TOOL that you will use to peel away the layers of lust and see what fuels the lust - your R estlessness, I rritability and D iscontent (R-I-D). This Powerful Tool will allow you to have your first real taste of the freedom that awaits you in recovery. To really enjoy this taste of freedom, just like anything else that you taste, you have to dig into it and really savor it.

And the choice is yours now!! Do you want this taste of freedom to taste like a fast food - microwavable product - something that you grab at a Burger Barn and chow down in your van on your way to your next appointment? (When you're done, all that's left is greasy heartburn). OR do you want this taste of freedom to taste like your wife's chicken soup - a delicacy that has been slow cooked, well seasoned and delicious on the holiest day of the week?

The choice is yours - what you get out of it, will depend entirely on what you put into it!!

About the work-sheet, please note that you should hit "print preview" or print out the sheet to work on it. There are some columns and headings that can only be seen this way. We will discuss in today's call (Thursday) more about how to fill out this Sheet.

Please keep your entries on this Sheet in your computer so you can email it back to me upon its completion. At that point, we will schedule a private 2 hour call to discuss it.

I promise you that you will be a different person when you are done. Like the Book says on page 63, you will be reborn.

If you have any questions, please feel free to bring these up in the Call or email me back.

Once again, thank you for letting me join you in this Journey.

Warmest regards,
Duvid Chaim

To be continued...
Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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