How to protect your home, your computer, and your sanity
 
 
  Breaking Free Chizuk #1311  
 
 
In Today's Issue
   
Image of the Day
Personal Stories: Sober for the Next Ten Seconds
Practical Tips: Home Protection
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12 Step Attitude: Came To Believe - My Journey Towards My G-d
Chizuk: TaPHSiC Shiur
Torah: How Lucky We Are!
 
 
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Image of the Day
 
Personal Stories
 
Sober for the Next Ten Seconds
 
By Eye.nonymous

Two days ago I was feeling totally filled up with lust. I was downtown all afternoon with some stuff to do and a lot of waiting in between. I made the mistake of wandering into a book store to pass the time. I was on guard against the magazine racks, but the regular best-seller sections had a couple of books with some very triggering pictures on the cover. I did catch myself and get out of the book store after a couple of minutes.

Later on I took the subway home, and couldn't stop staring at a particular lady. What got me most was that she was modestly dressed, "so it's not so bad!". That sick rationalization again.

I made a bunch of calls, but still felt full of lust. Later that night I had a dream that I was about to act out and the thought entered my mind, "If I keep this up, I'll lose my sobriety." So, I stopped.

I woke up glad that my recovery was apparently strong enough to leak into my dream, and glad that nothing happened. But I still felt full of lust and all through the morning I felt like acting out. I made calls to program friends to share my frustrations, which helped a little. But a short while later I felt like acting out. I needed to go to the bathroom at one point and felt determined to act out. Meanwhile I said to my Higher Power, "Please keep me sober for just 10 seconds." I counted down the 10 seconds so I could act out afterwards. I managed to start the count again. After the second time I had finished relieving myself and told myself it was time to get out of the bathroom.

I still felt like acting out. I interrupted my morning schedule to write a fear and gratitude list, and I called someone and shared it with him. It helped, but I still felt like acting out again soon afterwards.

All together I made 8 calls and 6 people answered and talked with me for some time. As long as I kept feeling like acting out, I kept making more calls. I felt so determined to act out. The sixth person I reached was most helpful. I started to ramble on, "Well, this feeling started last night-so what happened then?" There's a recovery slogan, "don't look where you FELL, look where you SLIPPED." I told him about my afternoon downtown. He shared with me, "I also have trouble being downtown. It's not so much the immodestly clad women as much as the whole atmosphere-people just sitting around eating in nice cafes, smiling and laughing and having fun--carefree. And then I look at my life full of so much stress and so many problems and think, 'why can't I be like that, too?'" I identified completely. With that, I felt the lust was taken away and I had a reprieve for a few hours.

Then, it came back. I was facing this job and I was all worried about whether I could do it or not. Fear was killing me, and making me want to act out. But then, I managed to sit down and get to work; the job actually went smoothly-it was nothing like I had feared. I think my financial situation in general is another thing I have to work on surrendering to my Higher Power.

Today, thank God, I feel that I have a reprieve.

Practical Tips
 
 
Home Protection
 
Links
 

GYE member NM Tikva shared the following app with us. He says: "This add block has removed all advertisements on google chrome. It has helped me a lot."

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12 Step Attitude
 
Came To Believe - My Journey Towards My G-d
 
An opinion of a recovering addict (At the time of this writing, Yossel had been sober in SA for over 2 years). Take what you like and leave the rest.
 
By Yossel

Years before I came to SA and recovery, someone showed me the 12 steps. I had a read of them and, to be honest, they went right over my head. Sure, I believed "in a Power greater than myself". What kind of a frum Jew was I if I hadn't "turned my will over to G-d"? I went through all the steps and was convinced that there were no "chidushim" here for a religious Jew, let alone a Ben Torah.

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Chizuk
 
 
TaPHSiC Shiur
 
Torah
 
How Lucky We Are!
 
By An Honest Mouse

We say in Hallel (1st paragraph): "Mi K'Hashem Elokeinu hamagbili lashoves, hamashpili lirois bashomayim uvo'aretz, mikimi meophor dol, mei'ashpois yorim evyoin - Who is like Hashem our G-d, who is enthroned on high, yet brings Himself down to look at the heavens and the earth. He raises the poor from the dirt and the destitute from the trash".

How lucky are we that the King and Ruler of everything, who sits in Heaven and runs the entire world, is also our Father who loves us so much and comes down to our lowly place in the spiritual garbage to carry us out. If we're stuck in the dirt, just call 'Daddy - I can't find my way out of this trash that is lust, please come down and get me - lift me up all the way to the heavens, I wanna be with You!'. And He just, as it were, drops everything He's doing and comes all the way down to our lowly level to bring us out. Just 'cause we're His children and His special nation!! Could you imagine calling Obama and asking him to come to your house to help you out with something?!?! And he's only the president of America, not the Omnipotent Ruler of the world!

How lucky are we to have such a connection!

Do you think you may have a porn addiction?
 

Do you have a problem with obsessive and compulsive porn use? Have you seriously tried the tools on GYE and feel that you are not getting better? Maybe it’s time to consider joining a 12-Step program.

Porn Anonymous (PA)
If you’re compulsively acting-out with pornography and masturbation we suggest you explore joining Porn Anonymous (PA). If you need help deciding whether to join PA, call Michael at 347-699-2368, or email help@pornanonymous.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit pornanonymous.org (Hebrew: p-a.org.il / Yiddish: pa-yid.org).

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
If your compulsive acting-out has progressed beyond the screen (with other people, paid sexual services, etc.) we suggest you explore joining Sexaholics Anonymous (SA). To figure out if SA is for you, call Dov at 917-414-8205, or email Dov at dov@guardyoureyes.org to schedule a time to talk. For more information visit www.sa.org.

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