The Library

The Lies The Truths If no one sees me, no one loves me. Porn gives me the feeling of being loved I am seen. I am worthy of love. When I am alone, I can hold on to love. I deserve this, I do some much, I deserve a break I deserve good self-care. My needs...

When we are born, we are conscious only of ourselves, we are the universe. We perceive little other than our basic needs, and if these needs are met we are content. As our consciousness expands, we become aware of the world outside ourselves. We discover that there are...

Drawing from research on addiction in neuroscience, psychology, and clinical practice, the following list identifies several key behavioral patterns associated with addiction: Source: tommaso79/Shutterstock 1. Unsuccessful attempts to quit. Addicts often express ...

Sex addicts new to recovery typically have little to no idea how to define sexual sobriety. Sometimes they worry that sexual sobriety is the same as chemical sobriety, where permanently abstaining is the ultimate goal. Many say that if that is the case, they’ll stick wi...

Denial is a form of distorted thinking. In fact, it is a masterpiece of distorted thinking. Breaking through denial marks the beginning of addiction treatment. This is just as true for sexual addiction and behavioral addictions generally as it is for chemical dependency...

Based on both clinical experience and research, I can tell you that sexual addiction is rarely a standalone issue. One large-scale survey of self-identified sex addicts found that 69% of heterosexual men, 79% of heterosexual women, and 80% of homosexual men also had a s...

Curious if you may have an issue with sex addiction, including pornography? If you answer “Yes” to 2 or more of these questions, it is recommended you speak with a trained therapist to explore your responses: The "PATHOS" Questionnaire: (Preoccupied) Do you oft...

Reflection for the DayI've heard it said that when God closes a door, a window opens. Since I started working the Twelve Steps, much of the fear and pain that haunted my life is gone. Some of my defects have been lifted from me, though I'm still wrestling with others. I b...

Many sex addicts enter recovery with little or no ability to identify what it is they are feeling. I had one client say that he never used to know what his feelings were, that he used to think hunger was a feeling! In early recovery from sex addiction addicts learn to...

It is not unusual for sex addicts to ask “How did I get this way? I had such an ordinary childhood.” Nobody survives childhood unwounded. And many kinds of stressful or frightening experiences can become sexualized along the way, leading to problems later on. And yet wh...

When I argued that pornography is inherently oppressive at a Cambridge Union debate recently, I honestly didn’t expect my team to win over the audience. I hoped to. But I also knew that those who grow up in today’s pornified world understandably find it hard to see the ha...

If you are a family member of a sex addict or of a recovering sex addict, or if you are dating a sex addict, you may have concerns about whether that person poses a danger to children. If you are separated or divorced from a sex addict you may have concerns about child...

Today most commercial flying is done on a radio beam. A directional beam is produced to guide the pilot to his destination, and as long as he keeps on this beam he knows that he is safe, even if he cannot see around him for fog, or get his bearings in any other way. As ...

The danger of pornography use isn’t about right and wrong. It’s about the effects that pornography has on the user and the effects it has on the loved ones of the user. Pornography use has serious, negative side effects. Some of pornography's toxic side effects include: ...

Copyright Disclaimer If anyone still had doubts about the addictive dangers of pornography, Anthony Weiner should have put paid to them with his repeated, self-sabotaging sexting. And if anyone still doubted the devastation that porn addiction wreaks on those closest t...

My Name is TC and I Have an Eating Disorder I remember texting my friend from the hospital “do you think you can come pick me up?” My husband, Jon, knew where I was, he was the one who took me to the ER earlier that day, but I didn’t want him to have to come get me, I w...

One of the tools used in sex offender treatment (SOT) is called "victim sensitization," i.e. teaching sex offenders (not addicts, mind you, but actual predators, who not only get triggered but actually violate vulnerable others, including children) about the human side o...