The Triggers are in Us

GYE Corp. Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Someone was complaining how difficult it is to remain clean with lust triggers being everywhere! Dov writes:

They may seem like they are everywhere, but we all go through times like that. Thanks for reminding me. I passed the same pretty lady twice yesterday - first at work and later on my way home from work, and I had to make a phone call to a recovering addict (while I was davening for her), because the second time I passed her, apparently something inside told me she must be destined for me (and dinner will stay warm an extra half hour anyway while I get another good look at her!). Oy vei.

Besides, is there lust in your toes? can you think through or write out a short, 5 minute gratitude list for your toes. (Maybe Uri can help you write a song about them). There is plenty to sing about regarding our toes, clothes, food, etc., and much gratitude that can help you get out of yourself.

Cuz, my friend, the lust triggers aren't really out there, they are in us. We carry them and keep them.

Dov's posts are often short and sound sometimes funny/strange. But I have found that the more I re-read them, the more I discover in them. Let's examine this post more carefully.

Here are 6 profound things that I learned from Dov's post today:

1. Even guys like Dov, sober for 11 years in SA, still struggle with triggers.

2. The diseased mind of the addict seems to feel subconsciously that anyone attractive in our vicinity is somehow "destined for us" (even if we don't usually act out on it - B"H!).

3. The best way to deal with these goofy feelings are to get them out into the open with safe people, by making a phone call to a fellow addict ("Lust glows in the dark").

4. Daven for the object of your lust (after turning away, of-course). This turns the selfish inward-desires "outwards".

5. Another great way to get "out of ourselves" is to make gratitude lists in our head for all the wonderful things Hashem has given us in our lives, even our toes! Who ever thought about the wonder of our toes; how they keep us in perfect balance when we walk... And our toes don't feel lust, do they? Look how much good we have in our bodies that are completely unrelated to lust!

6. There are unlimited amount of things to lust for all around us. Our only hope is to let go of the lust, because the triggers are really inside us. As Dov wrote, we are the ones carrying them and keeping them. If we learn to let go of the lust, we will no longer be surrounded by "impossible" triggers.