Tuesday, 07 February 2012

Talking Openly

by Dov (See all authors)

If I could not talk openly with somebody about all the goofy and gross ideas that pop into my head, I'd certainly eventually act them out! "We are only as sick as our secrets", they so wisely say.

But thinking about how the addiction works and making a study of it, is an entirely different matter to me. It doesn't deserve all that much attention.

You see, it all depends on what I want. If I want to keep thinking about lust, or why I lust, then I'll be in it and I tend to do more of it. If, on the other hand, I just want to finally get free of it, then I'll find someone safe to dump it to, ask My Best Eternal Friend to help me out, and then focus 100% of my brain and body energies on thinking about and doing whatever it is that I am supposed to actually thinking about and doing. And most of the time it's "giving" - to my clients, wife, children,whoever. And I'll just have to be content assuming that I'm a bit of a nut for having really, honestly believed (for a minute) that doing such an asinine (or evil) thing could possibly have been in my best interest! Nu. I'm nuts that way.

I am not telling you or anyone what to do, just admitting (again) that I can't think myself into right behavior. I can only live myself into right thinking. The analysis of it all is very tempting, but letting go of it and doing right does me a lot more good.