Monday, 09 April 2012

Stop Fighting! Let Go and Let G-d

by Miribn, Shomer (See all authors)

We've discussed how the 12-Steps teach us how to stop fighting and give up our struggles to Hashem. As "kookoo" (who is already 3 years sober through the groups) once posted on our forum: "I don't overcome it, Hashem does it for me".

But is this really attainable for most people? Well, let's take a look at some personal testimonies from our forum - not from a few months ago, but just from the past few days!

 

Shomer posted on his thread:

Thank you GUE for the beautiful write-up in the chizuk e-mail in the past. I hope to write more about the groups as time goes on, but at the moment all I can say is this:

Just after logging on to my computer right now, I inadvertently stumbled across an open hole in my filter that would have allowed me to circumvent my filter/monitor and surf as I please. Without hesitation or temptation I simply removed the loophole in my current filter. I can say with certainty that 2 weeks ago (before joining the groups) I would have at the very least tested the limits of this gaping hole and probably ended up falling. I literally feel like a new person and you can verify with boruch that I am not generally given to exaggerations.

 

And Miribn Posted on the Women's Forum:

I am happy that there is an interest in the Big Book and the 12 steps. This is the only way I am able to stay abstinent, both with my food addiction and with this addiction. In a few days I am celebrating 17 months of back to back abstinence from all forms of sugar, wheat and flour and volume. I would NEVER had been able to do it without OA. And once I was in recovery long enough with the food, I was clearheaded enough to start working on the lust issue. Its been now 35 days back to back abstinence and I feel liberated. I always felt that watching inappropriate material and other things put a wall between me and Hashem and now I am breaking that wall down one abstinent day at a time! I want to be close to Hashem SO much - I beg of him every day to give me one more day of abstinence with food and with lust. I know that without his help I am totally powerless. I am So grateful to Hashem for this abstinence and I am treasuring it. I also wanted to add that were it not for me working on the steps and using the tools of the OA program, I would turn to other addictions as well. You hear many times how when someone lets go of alcohol or smoking they turn to the food instead... The 12 steps (when done properly) are a way of dealing with the root of WHY addicts turn to substances or other addictive behavior. I know that for me, I used it as a way to escape what ever is going on around me.

One wonderful thing I learned from the 12 steps is to stop fighting. To just realize that I have no power over my addiction and that I am powerless, to realize that Hashem is the only one who can relieve my addiction and that if I just let Hashem take it away from me and beg Hashem daily to relieve me of this obsession then Hashem will! And Hashem truly does! I no longer fight, I just completely rely on Hashem, that Hashem will keep me abstinent!

I think that I have a natural tendency to want to control my life and other people lives and I also want to control the outcome of things. I like to plan out my day, week, month, year, life etc. I also have a perfectionist type of personality and an "all or nothing" attitude. This has caused me to turn to my addictions when things did not go my way. I was always a fighter and many times I fought with all my might for things to go a certain way. Learning to break this habit and realizing that I am trying to play G-d was a true eye opener. For me, I needed to learn to stop fighting and just let Hashem run the world the way He sees fit. I learned to accept. To accept myself and accept others. I learned to accept my life and life's circumstances. I am learning and re-learning this every single day. But I know that because I let Hashem run my life now, this is why Hashem has granted me all these wonderful days of abstinence!

May we all have a wonderful and abstinent rest of the day!