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Sakanta or Issura?

GYE Corp. Tuesday, 13 December 2011

The Gemara says that sakanta - danger, is more stringent than issura - prohibition. That is how I view step 1. Lust has changed - for me - from issura to sakanta. I take it exactly literally. Sakanta is more stringent and thus more germain to me (more important) than whether it's a aveira, ossur, disgusting, or whatever we'd want to call it. It's fire and I run from it like fire exactly... on a good day. So kedusha does not enter my picture - sanity and integrity (to Hashem and to people and to myself) do. I do believe that this is probably the way Hashem has prepared for me to work toward kedusha, but the success of that endeavor is clearly none of my affair. Gevalt for me on the day it occurs to me that I am a kodosh. It'll probably all go into the toilet in twenty minutes. Moshe rabeinu could know his madreiga and even that he was an onov - I do not believe that I can.