Giving up on “Figuring it out”
Thank you for sharing this. You expressed it beautifully and it's very true. It is the same “Emes” that is found in the first few steps of the 12-Step program, (1) “Our lives became unmanageable and we are powerless” (2) We came to believe a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity (3) We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to His care…
In other words, there are only two prerequisites to succeeding in the impossible. (1) A realization that it is destroying our lives and that we can’t do it ourselves (2) Believing that Hashem can do it for us LETTING HIM.
Some people say a special “Yehi Ratzon” in the nussach of “Elokai Netzor” at the end of Shmoneh Esrei. It says there: “And save me from the Yetzer Hara, and put into my heart Emunah, subjugation and humility”. Why do these 3 ideas (yetzer hara, Emunah and humility) go together? Because the only way to be saved from the Yetzer Hara which is so much stronger than us, is through the broken-heartedness of knowing we can’t do it ourselves, and the EMUNAH that Hashem can and will, if we only WANT IT and turn to Him for help. As the pasuk in Tehillim says:
את המייחלים לחסדולא בגבורת הסוס יחפץ, לא בשוקי האיש ירצה... רוצה ה' את יראיו
“Not in the might of the horse does He desire, nor in the legs of the man does He want… Hashem wants those who fear Him, who HOPE to his kindness”…
We don’t have to work hard and fight the great battle. We just need to ask for His help with the awareness that we can’t do it ourselves.
Chazal say that at the end of days Hashem will slaughter the Yetzer Hara. Both the Tzadikim and Reshaim will weep. The Tzadikim will weep with joy and ask, "How did we conquer such a great mountain?" and the Reshaim will weep in pain and ask "how could we not have conquered such a small thread?"... The question is, why do the Tzadikim see the Yetzer Hara as a mountain and the Reshaim as a thread? How can they both be true?
Perhaps based on the idea above we can understand this idea too. The Yetzer Hara is indeed a great mountain that is INSURMOUNTABLE. However, Hashem doesn't ask us to conquer the mountain at all. He asks us only to want it, to turn to Him and hope to Him! When the Reshaim understand that fact finally, they weep because they could have just given over the fight to Hashem and trusted Him to help them. The problem wasn't that they couldn't, but rather that they didn't WANT to.
And so, this is the secret of success in all our struggles. If we only internalize this, we can be victorious over the great mountain by just stepping over this little thread.